I’m gonna prove to you all that I’m a subhuman AGP faketrans pervert who doesn’t deserve to transition…
Honeslty I would love for you all to make me kill myself after me confessing all this so that I never get the chance to become a rapehon OpticsSuperNuke…
Here’s my confession…
- Porn addiction starting with 11y old…
- Female Masturbation, Lesbian porn etc…
- Desensitization and escalation occurred…
- Started feeling violated and forced to do it…
- At times was even bleeding and in bad pain…
- Tried stopping over and over again but failed…
- Started to hate my penis and wanted it gone…
.
- Started being envious of women’s “pleasure”…
- Wished I was a hermaphrodite for sex once…
- Wanted to masturbate “like a woman”…
- Started imagining myself as a lesbian…
.
- Learned the term AGP and shut it down…
- Escaped back into very bad hetero porn…
- Bigoted right wing phase full of hatred…
- Later after figuring out I’m bisexual…
.
- Starting to kineq question my gender…
- Sexually crossdressed twice (I need to rope)
- Then my egg cracked and I very depressed
- Fell into kind of sexual madness for a week
- Tried masturbatint “like a woman”… felt bad
- Was in a lot of anguish and felt so ashamed
- Felt I was trying to fuck the pain away…
- Since then never did that stuff again
- Simply fell back into the usual routine .
So… wouldn’t you all agree… I am definelty AGP…
I deserve the most violent death imaginable.
what the frick you’re a degenerate, pls chemically castrate yourself by taking estrogen
I agree , I condemn you to life without that nagging nightmare testosterone 👩🏻⚖️ it’s the chair for you!
(And by that I mean the chair they take your blood in so they can get your levels).
That’s kinda funny ngl because when I was around 16 years old I actually thought about literally buying drugs to chemically castrate myself and lower my libido but didn’t do it because I didn’t know how to access these antidepressants with libido lowering qualities and the other stuff would make me infertile which I didn’t want which is why I didn’t do it.
pills now
Please don’t be angry at me… I am so sorry… but I… … I am just… sorry… I am sorry :(
I deserve the most violent death imaginable.
This is like pretty normal trans and sexual awakening thing idk. Do you think cis women are pure angel creatures that shit rainbows or smth? 😭
My brother didn’t become a horny monster like me… my sister neither… as far as I am aware… their sexuality didn’t end up being fucking monstrous and they both don’t engage in this kinda stuff as far as I am aware because they are both moral and keep religious laws while I violate every boundary with myself and seem to spit on what is right and wrong and act like an unrestrained perverted sinner… I’m not chaste
What does it matter? Just live your own life, nobody gives a shit who you fuck or what your fetishes are, really. Life doesn’t matter, we are all gonna fucking die working and never retire, so maybe just do whatever the fuck you enjoy doing. If anything, I think religious folks who are scared of sex are limp dick losers
It matters because I don’t want to be this way… because it doesn’t bring any enjoyment or joy… just discomfort…
Sexuality has always felt so horrific…
And because I want to be clean again.
If this is normal trans awakening then most or all trans people are sick perverts and transphobes are right about how we are all disgusting…
A normal appropriate good trans woman would be somebody who always was already feminine and realized early as a child and was uncomfortable with sexuality and essentially androphilic as a child and then asexual as puberty started and then only regained sexuality after transition…
And cis women… well I imagine they are not malebrained sick fucks like me… they yeah of course are sexual creatures but not as vile as me. Why can’t people here just be honest with me and admit to the fact that I’m sick
fuck you
I’m sorry… what the fuck am I supposed to say… I’m sorry… this topic is just the worst thing for me… it’s been one of the reasons that I’ve been horribly mentally ill since I entered puberty… this stuff was just so traumatic to me… it’s not normal for a 15y old to want to cut off his penis because he feels like it’s forcing him to be a sexual monster… and also all this has made me feel so unworthy of love or forgiveness… I’ve just felt so sinful and disgusted with myself for years… this stuff genuinely has hurt me deeply… I know you’re angry but what do you expect of me… I can’t just idk… accept all this stuff…
And me growing up listening to transphobes like Matt fucking Walsh hasn’t helped me and fucked up my brain semi permanently… of course I’m gonna say bullshit but it just won’t stop… the constant assault of my mind against me just won’t stop…
I’m sorry for being like this.
This is a ridiculous standard btw, sexual kink is one of the only eats a “man” can explore his gender in a way that is acknowledged by society. It doesn’t make you faketrans for exploring your gender in the only way with a societally approved permission structure
But I didn’t “explore gender”… I was just a disgusting horny freak… and also… this sounds like you’re legitimizing sissies and lumping them in with trans women… after all is that person also “exploring” but I don’t want to be that person but the fact that I twice crossdressed and generally just experienced me being so perverted makes me feel so utterly disgusted with myself and unworthy of being anything
So you think you’re AGP? Do you know what Blanchard, the “mastermind” behind the theory thinks about patients he describes as AGP? He thinks they should take hormones.
Yeah… he’s wrong about that part… that’s just because he’s a chaser freak… if he did serious stuff he would have incorporated stuff from Joseph Nicolosi or other guys and created ways to treat and cure Autogynephilia… or maybe I just want somebody to abuse and hurt me… it doesn’t matter… I feel sick… I don’t feel like anybody could ever touch me… all sexuality feels horrific to me… like sex and lust is inherently abusive… like if you look at somebody like that, you can’t love them… I am ruined… probably forever to messed up to be capable of intimacy… neither through body or mind… I am too sick for that… and my body is sick too… if somebody ever touched me… it would be like they are touching excrements… that’s how dirty I am… how unlovable I am.
You’re advocating for conversion therapy again and I don’t like it. Whatever Blanchard thinks is still infinitely better than some fundamentalist religious quacks.
Well I can’t get it out of my head… I just can’t. I can’t stop thinking about the shit they’ve said… about the stories… about the people who said they are cured now… about the fake psychology… about their supposed explanations for stuff… it doesn’t go away… and it’s tearing me apart… I know it’s wrong but… I just feel all wrong inside.
I’m sorry… listen… you’re nice…I just feel like I’m spiraling every time I think about all this stuff and how it still hurts
Where can I reverse brainworm myself into detrooning? Do you have any videos about it?
No.
I relate to like half of this stuff lol
Day 8, hop on estrogen I promise it will make things better in every aspect
😭 please for the love of god get on e already i can’t fucking take it anymore
Also I was just as if not more agp…
TAKE YOUR PILLS
Yeah yeah… I know… but can we please adress the issue at hand here… which is my very clear sexual perversion and Autogynephilia… I mean… it should be obvious how sick I am… right?
You had t libido and repped for years like obviously you’re going to offload some of your dysphoria into sexual fantasy. Omg you’re not a fetishist you’re not sexually perverse, if you were you wouldn’t be so distressed about it. Btw I relate like 100% to this confession post, so unless you’re saying I’m also disgusting and don’t deserve hrt then idk what your point is.
I would consider myself a faketrans obessor, but you kinda put my doubting to shame. This is just another cope to delay the inevitable
You’re not disgusting… the same laws don’t apply to you… I knew it was wrong… I knew it was sinful… you weren’t raised that way and so you’re partly exempt from thr fault of your bad actions.
Also… even if we ignore that… you’re probably just generally a better person and probably weren’t as monstrous as I am with regards to sexual compulsion
This is just exhausting. Two times sexually cross-dressing? I did it more, when I was 10. And why tf would the same rules not apply to me that doesn’t even make sense. Either call me a sissy cross-dresser or confront your trauma and try to come to terms with it. I feel similar shame in this regard, but trust me when I say it gets better when you’re on e.
Are you closer to getting estradiol than you were last week? If not I might have to start bullying you
I just want to feel pure and good again… it hurts so much… I just want my lost innocence back… I just want to not be filthy and so utterly unlovable… my skin feels dirty… I just feel so unlovable… I just wish I was pure again instead of a sexual creature… sexuality has always just been pain for me.
How do I even beginn to heal this. I can’t. All I need is to abstain… be in control… Reduce it and controll it all… but I fail always… and have been failing for years without relief… it won’t stop.
I’m just in so much pain
How do I even beginn to heal this. I can’t. All I need is to abstain… be in control… Reduce it and controll it all… but I fail always… and have been failing for years without relief… it won’t stop.
…
Hint: it starts with an e
If you get on e your body will stop raping itself. My sex drive went down A LOT and I’m very happy with it.
As for the first paragraph, that’s a whole lot of shame and religious trauma that’s going to take a long time to get past. First you need to get on e. Then you need to get a therapist that knows how to deal with religious trauma.
I guess you’re right… sigh :*(
I’m sorry… I know im annoying… please dont hate me for my pain… I just feel bad
give hrt 1-2 years and you’ll experience your hrt ego death and then be at peace with this
I can never forget the past…I will never be at peace…I will forever be tainted by my past impurities… how could my body ever be lovable… how could I ever be a good person…how could I ever even deserve to walk amongst people… how could I ever even deserve to not be seen as utterly repulsive… ego death… I find that thought funny… wanted that as a child actually… was fascinated by the idea of it… I just want it to end.
“I can never forget the”
Girl you ain’t experienced half as much “past” in your life as I have accumulated;👩🏻🦳, believe me you’ll come to forget a great deal
And especially that feeling that T gives you; that will fade far far faster than you think and you will be at peace.
You’re a woman burning a fuel that wasn’t designed for the engine that is your brain, it defo makes you cray cray 🙃
Even if I forget the past… it won’t change that I developed in such a twisted and disturbingly perverted fashion… do you even have the slightest idea how bad the things are that I’ve already seen… I’m sick… I’ve seen more perverted things than my parents or siblings will see in their entire life and it’s clear that I’m… monstrous…I mean… I’ve hurt myself… do you understand what I’m saying… I’ve literally bled blood because of how horrifically I abused my genitals… I’m the kind of person you diagnose with a sexual psychopathology… I seriously have and had issues… it’s not that bad anymore… but I have… I’ve sunk to such lows… layer there at times… I have no dignity…
I am something pitiful and obscene…
holy shit just get on E please
What then… all the corruption of my mind would still remain and it wouldn’t change the fact that perversion brought me the point of taking E…
Maybe Transition is advised for the AGP because it neuters them… thereby inhibiting their sexual neurosis and causing thereby better life quality as a result of castration
still more trutrans than me
Elaborate please
I just fapped like a regular moid
That is more trutrans than me… I’m literally more faketrans than you, at least your sexuality is closer to a woman, at least you knew of being girly early on. At least you rep for longer than me. I’ll confess my sins too, and after this no one is going to doubt I am faketrans. Fuck all of this, fuck being trans, should I send the HRT when it arrives to a person who really needs it?
-finding out about porn at 11
-Don’t remember but I think I slowly started developing an addition to masturbation.
-Masturbating to hetero porn mostly
-Not feeling sexuality in an emotional girly way, just having a reaction to female bodies
-Finding out about more kinky stuff, like food stuffing/weight gain fetish I had since before sexuality ever developed
-Remember wanting to gain weight but not as a man but as a woman - root cause, AGP cognitohazard, AGP field 1000%, the seed of ROGD, the source of all of it
-later, not watching normal porn, mainly finding photos online
-12-14? Finding about drawn porn, mainly looking at images like that, rarely animation. Ranging from hentai to some yiff shit… (Not a furry)
-prob. 12, joined a roblox condo game… Roleplayed as a girl in sex… AGP cognitohazard
-14-15 continuation of this loop, can’t even remember, I was doing it to anything which I was aroused by at the time. Mainly images, animations, actual porn rare. Probably saw even drawings with a femboy or dick characters.
-16 Due to everyone around me telling me I’m gay, finding out that I’m bi. Rise of femboy attraction, not super attracted to actual men. First desires of wanting to be more feminine. First signs of dysphoria like related to height and not being feminine enough to be a “femboy”. But also remember asking myself if I’m a femboy or troon and deciding I’m a femboy because of my socialization…
-17-18 more lesbian porn, actual attraction to men but probably just meta attracted. Trying to masturbate in a feminine way sometimes. Actual troon thoughts. Mainly also consuming my fetish porn related to food stuffing/weight gain
I feel horrible for all of this. I’ll be such a rapehon if I do transition. I shouldn’t do it, I’m too malebrained. This is what a weirdo moid would do. There’s nothing feminine about it. Femboy to tranny pipeline is real. It is unescapable now. Should I rep? After the things I’ve said I probably deserve to be banned. I’m sorry
The fuck you mean knew I was girly early on… that’s simply not true… also I left a bunch of stiff out… I saw almost every kind of pornography out there thats isn’t super niche fetish stuff but yeah I saw a broad range of degenerate shit and No, I didn’t idk masturbate to stuff in an emotional way… I had the same moid kind of feeling towards it… just reactiok to female bodies…
My confession could be a lot worse…
This stuff doesn’t make you any more faketrans than I am… and also the femboy thing… absolutely the same with me…
You’re disgusting… just idk… messed up in a similar way to me… try fixing that stuff, I guess… learn how to approach sexuality in a better and less shameful and compulsive manner and don’t rep like a dumbass idiot…
I feel so fucked up, like I’m shinji from evangelion at the bed scene. I’m a moid… IWNBAW. I’m deluded. The recent spike of honfidence and acceptance, all a delusion. If I do start hrt then everyone will see me as a tranny. But why do I still want to start it… Why do I want this self destruction???
Idk… I ask myself the same thing… maybe we’re trying to just feel a sense of hope…
Let’s become rapehons together 🥰🌟✨🤩
Alright, I’m joking. I’ll tell you a story instead. I think i fell in love three times. Each of them taught me something. 2 girls, 1 boy. The first girl, i fell in love so hard it’s still an event that shapes how i interact with girls today, it led me to be scared of having relationship with women, and women want a man who’s taking the lead but i was pure and effeminate with my love as a male. I abstained from masturbating etc to girls I’m attracted to/love unlike boys my age because I was afraid it’d contaminate my pure love for her. She rejected me. The other girl, led me on, confused me, caused be immense emotional anguish. Led me to prioritize myself over people in life, led me to not be delusional in how i interact with people(i had a tendency to impose my delusions on how i see people I’m attracted to) Both these girls led me on btw. The boy, i had a long distance relationship with and was the first stable relationship where i was able to let go of my crippling anxiety regarding relationships, he broke it off due to personal reasons. All of these taught me i had to love the way i was comfortable in. Sexuality is not evil. If In it’s pure form, it’s something that shows itself when you love someone, something that arises naturally and doesn’t irritate you or disgust you. It’s pleasant. I don’t like the meaningless bouts of lust i get much like you and abstain from entertaining them. But don’t force yourself to hate a part of you that has a chance to be something beautiful and make you happy.
Thank you for your message… truly…
I think you’re right… but I just never have found it pleasant… never had a relationship… never idk felt love and pure desire for somebody… I’ve never has even the chance to develop that because even before puberty begann, I was shapes by sexual coercion as a child and then the moment puberty started, I was corrupted by pornography and compulsion… I never felt free in sexuality… and now I fear that I can’t ever even learn sexuality in a pure way because it’s been so corrupted for me… that’s why I’m hopeless…
And now it just feels mediated through pain
dont worry about it
Why not… it’s proof… it’s proof against me
“proof against me”
“Than we are both doomed”
You even type like a really self hating Jane Eyre; get your Victorian woman’s ass to a clinic and seek the map out of this dark forest that you’re feeling trapped in
If I were actually prudish… I would have stayed pure… I have no real shame to be honest… if I had real shame, I wouldn’t be like this… I would have remained pure
Incorrect, the machine that is your body has been running on fuel it wasn’t designed for,
There are 2 lane roads in your brain that testosterone is sending a fleet of Mack trucks down and whole assed highways that have never been paved-
Have you noticed that every single woman who has responded to you has expressed something very similar?
Trust us, silencing that ever present agitator in your endocrine system will feel right
And if it doesn’t you have like 4 weeks before most permanent tissue changes take place-
So why not just try?
But there are men who are able to deal with their testosterone powered sexuality without being as broken as me, so if I need to essentially shut down that highway and silence it, doesn’t that further proof that I’m just broken and instead should just learn to be more sexually disciplines and controll it like all the other male guys do.
And yeah I might not want to be a man but effectively that’s what I am right now and probably will always be, no matter what…
But yk my point is… if I can’t deal with the Testosterone sexuality highway while others can… isn’t it then just a personal failing… and also other learn to control it without essentially chemically castrating themselves… I feel like a failed male.
Your answer is inherent to the very first sentence you wrote: “There are men who…”
Their little 2 lane roads are 6 lane highways, so when those Mack trucks testosterone travels through their brain it doesn’t create the same type of pressure and cacophonous traffic jams, where you are never able to clear the road.
Sex is not an impure thing of itself, it’s a very human thing, it might be the most ubiquitously human thing, you developed an addiction and that feels like shit ; I know a thing or two about addictions and willpower is only half the game- I had to put as many barriers between me and my source as I could - he’ll if I went home every day and there was Oxys on my table I dont think my willpower would be enough- you gotta start by giving yourself some grace and being realistic with stuff like that- your addiction just happens to be available 24/7 in unlimited amounts via the device in your hand.
I just feel so ugly and disgusting… I’m sorry… I’m sorry that I’m perverted and that I am a freak…
Lol. This is relatable
If so then we are both doomed
I don’t give a shit tbh
Waow. Based Based Based Based Based Based Based Based Based Based Based Based Based Based
I’m sorry… I didn’t want to be mean.
Nah you’re good, I just only ever use AGP ironically and don’t care about it.
How? How doesn’t this topic or sexuality per se tear you apart from the inside like a ravenous beats that wants to viciously kill and devour you… How???
I don’t know. Why does it tear YOU up?
Because it makes me dirty… it makes me unlovable… before God, before myself… because I shouldnt have ended up like that… because I should have been chaste and then one day got married and been a good person and husband and whatever…
It tears me apart because for years at night I showered for hours trying to wash the filth underneath my skin away but I never felt pure… because I wasn’t pure…
Because sexuality disqualified me from being a good person and being loved… because I became something disgusting and revolting… something stinky and filthy and unclean… something nobody would want to hug anymore… it made me bad. That was clearly told to me
Because it makes me bad and repulsive… physically and emotionally repulsive… it takes away from my humanity and makes me something that cannot be loved…
It reduces me to an animal drive…
