Like I mean seriously… I fucking hate myself that I didn’t know early and will never accept myself as trans or transition because of that. I used to be an extremely religiously zealous and anti-lgbtq chud and nobody here seems to have had the same experience cause you all seemingly were already gay little faggots or troons at 16y old and simply were to dumb or didn’t know about DIY back then. But me?
No, I was straight. I was cis. Then it all broke apart. Isn’t there anybody who has a similar experience and knows how that feels and has the same doubts due to not knowing they were trans at an early age and that used to be like extremely transphobic!
I can’t be the only one… I’m so lonely and hurt
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Yeah well my dad used to call me a sissy as a child and a fag and beat me up and I think I have heard from everybody a million times to man up and I was always severly punished for being not masculine enough until one day I just became numb and then they stopped…
troons at 16y old and simply were to dumb or didn’t know about DIY back then
wow very subtle
Yeah, at age 16 the year was 2008, our country bumpkin internet was slow as shit (ISDN, chances are most people here have to google what that even is), troon info was virtually inaccessible, the only chance was parents picking up on the signs and sending their kid to a psychiatrist, unfortunately mine didn’t. I have no idea if DIY for sale even existed back then and even if it did there was no crypto or anything to pay for it.
Now people have everything at their disposal, access to diy and literature, but what do they do? They rep like complete fucking morons. It drives me crazy. They have it all and still throw it away.
Imagine your parents sending you to a mental health professional… my parents never took that option serious
It took cutting in school, spilling blood in the hallway for an intervention. By that age I was already 18 and broken from PTSD and depression. I never spoke about gd with anyone because I thought nobody would care anyway and due to lack of knowledge about HRT I thought nobody could help me in the first place.
I am sorry that happened… that sounds horrific… I hope that you are doing better nowadays… I thankfully almost always just suffered internally… I also hesistated a lot before ever getting any help whatsoever… I thought I didnt deserve it
Yeah, definitely better now, no cutting since then. My gf keeps me safe and HRT makes me feel better.
I had been suffering internally for years too, but someday I just reached my breaking point. You can only bottle up so much.
I’m glad you’re getting help now. You don’t deserve it any less than anybody else. Your therapist seems competent, I’m glad.
Sorry… sometimes I forget how old some people here actually are and think you’re all at most like 23y old or something…
I meant they repped or didn’t know or couldn’t do troon due to parents… I didn’t mean it in a bad mean nasty kind of way
I used to think trannies were gross and stuff and I realised at 19 too.
And yes I was religious too
We are twinning so much rn
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I was anti trans anti lgbt cis autistic scum at 14-15?. Mostly cause of society and the internet + I liked to troll online. I don’t think that I actually took it seriously tho. Then I found out I was bisexual at like 15? Later on also finding out that I’m a “femboy” + more woke stuff. Small ideation turned into dysphoria related to height, face and hair, it slowly started to morph and increase in severity over the next 2.5 years. From almost nonexistent-monthly-weekly-daily, going on tttt was the breaking point. Happened 3-4 months ago. Kind of like an exponential growth. Everything I said is prob 50% wrong, my memory is extremely shit.
Wish I had a genuine femboy phase but nevertheless… I couldnt ever have pulled that off, but I did mentally femboycope for a while…
My femboy phase was mostly mental either way, it was more of a reflection of myself. I only cross dressed a couple of times in my room, and started to grow my hair out. I became more comfortable with being feminine and started to desire femininity. I femboycoped, not femboyphased, my environment wouldn’t let me. I remember asking myself if I’m trans or just a femboy and I went with the second option due to my male socialization.
I had a small, mildly rightoid phase, at 14-15… in big part because I thought HoI was fun
So honestly didn’t have much leg to stand on do I
But tbf worst I did was suggest that we should maybe screen for genetic conditions so that we can eradicate them in the future hopefully
I still see trans people suggesting the last part
I suppose, it still haunts me a bit
Same, it all still haunts me too
That is fucked up
Idk i dont even believe in tranny gene that much
Advocating for eugenics is kinda horrific ngl
Look… I was feeling bad for the kids who have to deal with lifelong genetic conditions
Tbh it was more of a Jreg haha polcomp funny phase too to be clearly, just generally edgy
Oh okay… for me it was literally like full all in ideologically…
Wait but if being a tranny is genetic, and if we’d be able to detect it, then it’d be actualy quite good to interfere whilst still in the womb, like give hrt or smth.
Maybe, idk, I just stopped caring about diseases… and it’s not like we can screen for shitty parents, so being f***ed up because people wanted to f*** and give sickle cell to a child feels not so bad anymore
If they find a troon gene, they will just abort all troon babies…
What you’re referring to is stress induced dysphoria which is very common on the board as much as people larp about being trutrans HSTS
People unlock their transness at that age as an escapist stress response usually from college or unemployment
Edit: by the way, you can’t stop having it once you’ve had it. It’s here to stay
Don’t give her more reasons to rep oh my god
Honestly maybe they are right about that. The moment I realized I was trans was at the time where I fled from home and ended up in a queer shelter due to my parents.
To be clear: just because the realization is caused by a stress response (with the internal logic being along the lines of “oh my God this fucking sucks I wish I was a girl because then this wouldn’t suck so bad”) does not mean that you’ll be able to rep effectively
Becoming a girl being a coping mechanism for stress means that being a girl is less stressful for you than being a guy and it’s something you want even if you were able to deal with not having that thing you want beforehand
Thar is kinda retarded… transition is the most stressful thng ever… yeah it can be an escapist fantasy but actually doing it has to be motivated from something more robust in my opinion… it really feels more like you are just projecting
my life as a man was objectivelly great in all aspects, good body, good job, respect, partners. I repped for years by blaming my dysphoria on external factors and then proceding to try to fix those factors. Yet it followed me everywhere like a shadow while I clinged harder and harder to male social roles. Being a woman was not an escape, masculinity was.
I had build the perfect life as a man and no stone was left unturned. I couldn’t blame my feelings on lacking X, Y or Z anymore I had to accept the reality of my condition.
Being trans is literally the same thing as being gay just on different brain areas. They’re born with cross sex anatomy on areas of the brain responsible for attraction and you’re born with cross sex anatomy on areas of the brain responsible for self identification which causes dimorphic anatomic traits to feel like deformities.
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that’s regarded i started having thoughts at the beginning of puberty when my life was good and when my life turned to hell they actually lessened (because i was busy dealing with other shit).
by the way, you can’t stop having it once you’ve had it.
literal nonsense, if it was caused by external factors you could undo it that’s how brain plasticity works.
Oh wow, killing myself
