i think i got it a couple years back, when i was sick with a terrible cold for over a month. still not quite sure what that was. don’t think i ever took a test

psyop-19 coincided with the same time i was just finishing high school, when my friend group was starting to dissolve, and when i decided to fully commit to repping and give up on ever having a life that made sense. nothing has felt real since; feels like the rug was pulled from under me. still convinced i’m going to wake up soon, before i was struck by this malaise.

this is why i can never relate to those “my parents always wanted a girl :3” posts. my mom never did an ultrasound but she’s always said that she just “knew i was a boy.” she’s told me stories about how she would talk to me when i was in utero and say things like “are you my baby boy?” there’s geuinely no bleaker ropefuel.

she wanted to have lots of kids too. she’s told me this. wanted to but didn’t. i never asked why; i think she was just too old. i’m all she has and it’s such a burden. i dont want it to be like this and i know im going to ruin it. im sorry mom im sorry mom im sorry

i think you posted this right when i went to bed last night and it’s always kind of crazy to me how closely your thoughts mirror my own sometimes. like, i could have written this entire post. i think in the past i’ve tried to give you optimistic platitudes but i’m kinda fresh out of hope rn. so i’ve got nothing other than “real and same.” if anything, this thread is evidence that you’re not alone in your position. but ig that only means so much :/

i think about this sometimes. like, if somebody who looked exactly like me committed some mass shooting, everyone would be ripping into their appearance, even amongst “my people.” doesn’t feel good :/

i find that all the people worth giving a shit about in life are usually like this to an extent, and those same people also don’t care if other people are like this

sounds like living the dream, tbhon

while reality is unverifiable and you can never confirm anything outside of your consciousness, your perception of reality must become your world because you cannot get any closer to truth. strive towards truth and reality and trust in what you find because you can never know any more than that.

this has personally never been my experience at the department of motor vehicles

i need to eep… but i must sortfag

even the goats?

i think if you’re just using pan to mean tru-bi then it is kinda a trivial term… but i could understand why you would—in the same way people use transsex instead of transgender. but i think of pan as being more of an agnosticism towards bodies.

this is why i gotta watch myself on here because i lowk am a vxlid pansexual demisexual—the difference between me and the tumblrinas being that i take no pleasure in labeling myself. i do think the terms can be meaningful / have nuance; it’s just that nobody ever uses them that way.

i can’t believe you groomed your brother into becoming a delivery driver…

my dreams only feel sad when i wake up, since i’m always back in high school with friends like nothing ever changed. it’s like my brain doesn’t even remember everything that came later. my mental state is frozen in like 2020 and i just have to watch it, it’s kinda pitiful.

i don’t tbhon. being too logged on just drains me. i only allow myself tranistan as an outlet because at this point i couldn’t function without it

still remember that post on the main sub about how the AIDS crisis was gay peoples’ own fault for having sex too much… yeah…

tbf anyone can malefail if they’re short and have long hair, if it’s like from behind or something

bragpost cummy or victtttories cummy. or just post it here who cares

how i’m feelin rn. last paragraph is the realest. i NEED to go back to being a Paglian schizo doomer