I enjoy sex

For me it is a feel good instinct, kind if disgusting, something I wouldn’t want to be here, but it can completely flip my mind into thinking the opposite. On the other hand, there’s also this kind of a different love, not lustful but emotional, and arousal can only increase it. So I think I’m split between moid and foid sexuality :( . Preference wise, I’m bi, but probably meta attracted to guys. I also have a really weird fetish, which is AGP based, I feel aroused from stuffing myself with food. Wondering if HRT is going to remove the moid part of my attraction.

evil and inescapable, i think. idk. always had a really negative relationship to it but i think repping just liquidated my brain. i still don’t have anything good to say about sexuality but i’m also a loveless soulless vessel atm so maybe that will change with time. hard to say.

I’m not repulsed by sex, but I have no drive for it either. It’s like bowling; I’d never do it alone, but it’s fun with someone I care about and people seem to like doing it for some reason.

At best, it’s a way to emotionally connect with someone.

I am in peace with my reproductive instincts, i wish to have children on well. Even though I’m a bishit enby, I’m a bit disgusted from males, even though i find them hot quite a lot of times when I’m calm and not really thinking about it. I’m into soft/pretty faggots too and not masculine men. I also have that attraction to straight girls but I’m not sure which “straight” girl would accept me as a tranner lmao. Can’t an enby become a husband with a tradgirl? Worse chances than Hitler resurrecting tbhon. (Actually not but it’s miniscule.) I like girls, i like men, i want to reproduce, so i need girls but i like girls to but I’m disgusted by anal sex somewhat(I meann, I’d still do it with someone I love?) and male sexuality feels so disgusting to me. Makes me want to puke how their hornyness manifests itself. Ideally I’d be a transbian? Not suree!

My sexuality has always been really confusing and I have often found myself wishing I never had sexuality in the first place. Sex, to me, just feels like a completely hedonistic indulgent activity. But at the same time I yearn to be able to have sex without feeling immense shame and disgust. If I had some drug that could eliminate all sexual feelings from my brain, I would definitely take it. I wish I could relate it more to love, but I’ve never experienced love and I don’t think I will. I’ve never had any sexual experiences with anyone, and don’t plan on it.

I think my sexuality fits pretty nicely in agp meta-attracted. Starting at around 10 years old, I developed agp behaviors and thoughts, and engaged in borderline sissy stuff (faketrans ik). I still don’t know why or how it showed up, if it’s a manifestation of dysphoria, or if I’m really just a sissy fetishist (if this is true im terribly sorry for invading your space). I don’t think I’m a fetishist because it went away shortly after, and all I have now is crippling dysphoria in my 20s, and if I understand correctly, fetishes are life-long ordeals?

It was also around that age that I knew I was a bottom/sub. My most erotic experiences were playing with toys (I won’t describe further). The reason I call myself meta-attracted is because I like dick, and my primary source of intercourse would be through penetration, but I don’t find myself attracted to men to quite the same degree. I’m gynephilic, in the sense that women’s bodies can be arousing, but I have never imagined myself having intercourse with a woman. The only way I have ever imagined sex was with a man, and I usually relate to all the faceless man explanations that people give when describing meta-attraction. I pair this with agp because I’m most interested in what’s being done to me. My focus is on my body and how it’s being pleasured but not necessarily on the man doing it.

But it just always gets so confusing in my head, because I’ve definitely been attracted to men before. In the locker room in middle school I was entranced by the body of one of my bullies. In another situation I realized I really liked my guy friend, but got incredibly scared and tried to bury my feelings. In high school I almost confessed my love for another guy, but didn’t do it and ended up crying. In college I was really attracted to a particular guy and tried to initiate a conversation by offering my charger because his laptop was dying (this was entirely automatic, I just felt like I had to do something to talk to him). I have never done any of this to women! Ever! In fact, my whole life I’ve been trying to avoid these types of encounters with women. But since we live in a cis hetero-normative society, you’re essentially raped by society into fitting in line and having the attractions you’re supposed to have if you’re a boy. A lot of this shame is dissolving as I’ve slowly accepted I’m trans, but it still lingers.

I know I doubt my transness a lot here, but for once I’m putting it to rest. I feel so much grief over not being a cis woman. These scenarios wouldn’t be so shameful if my body was the way it should’ve been. I feel like because of it, I missed out on all the sexual experiences I should’ve had as a teen, and I will never get them back. Perhaps as I get further through my transition, the layers of shame will start to unravel and I will come to a more positive understanding of my sexuality. But for now, I’m okay with just avoiding romantic and sexual experiences altogether.

I’m actually curious what you think about my descriptions of sexuality. Do you think I’m agp meta-attracted? Maybe you think I’m a sissy fetishist lol? Ik you don’t really believe in AGP, maybe you think I’m just a regular trans woman that’s repressing androphilia from years of internalized transphobia and homophobia? Maybe bisexual? Would love to hear!

In my case it seems to be locked behind love. Even on testosterone I wasn’t interested in sex and if I wasn’t in a relationship I could die without anything sexual ever happening again and wouldn’t care for it at all. I don’t have any fetish or paraphilia either. To me sex is dull, lowbrow entertainment. I don’t care for it. I loathe people who see me sexually and couldn’t be around them, it would make me feel uncomfortable. But with a partner I love and who accepts me as who I am it seems to be different. I like being treated gently, getting compliments, making compliments, just taking care of each other. My partner means the world to me. Maybe that’s why my body/mind makes an exception for her. I have to admit I find myself yearning for her touch on some days. I don’t mind it, it makes me feel alive, almost normal.

im a gross transbian unfortunately and i’m terrified of admitting sexual feelings or being active in any way bc i think it makes me a disgusting rapehon and don’t believe anyone could ever actually love me so most of my fantasies involve extreme submissiviness, abuse and non-consent as it permits me to satisfy my desires without ever stating them directly and feels more realistic to me than fantasizing about actual love and also i deserve it and also trauma has something to do with it probably

I’m straight by chioce, I could be bisexual and date a man, and or be aroused by men if I wanted to. But that would be a humiliation ritual. So I strictly jerk it to women.

Relatively boring answer but im a straight chaser (alternatively: self-nerfing by being exclusively st4t because my brain refuses to accept cis women see me as a man)

I’m straight, but historically in an unusual way.

I don’t feel I super fit the Blanchard typology despite being brainwormed by it as a 13 year old, because despite being androphilic, and never having been into women, I don’t feel like I really fit HSTS boxes at all (besides maybe having dysphoria quite young). I don’t really understand what I was “meant” to be pre-trans if I never transitioned, I guess like a not very gay, asexual gay guy? I just say straight AGP now because that seems to be what it most closely evolved into I think…

Pre-HRT I had a very high libido, or at least got aroused a lot (likely due to OCD), and couldn’t function properly without tending to it at least 3 times a day. Actually ruined my life for like 10 years from 9 to 19.

Anyway, I never really had attraction to people directly, but rather to weird, always loosely androphilic fetishes I had. Like really weird porn brained bizarre stuff usually revolving around male genitalia in some respect or men in general as the subject. I tended to think there was just something wrong with me, like I was some bizarre form of asexual. I even larped being a straight guy briefly (never had a relationship or got intimate that way tho), before realizing the thought of being with a woman was foul to me, because it might “fix my mind” (catholic school environment).

When I started transitioning, a lot of the weird fetish stuff went away and I just started being attracted to men normally. I actually don’t even really care much about genitalia anymore either so long as my own isn’t being used, I just kinda love the idea of being romantic and affectionate with men more than anything. I kinda relate to meta attraction stuff now too and the idea its hot to be desired by a guy as a girl so I just call myself straight AGP now. Though i do still find men directly hot regardless of how I am involved.

Nowadays I still have a lot of brainworms about it tho, because I seem to be a very unusual case where I was just…androphilic only but in a very AGP way I guess??? Like where I had the fetish porn brain and didn’t act like a gay hussie, but while not really being AGP fundamentally.

i opened my phone to poast about this how funny. i kinda feel like my sexuality belongs to someone else, like the desire i feel doesnt match up with how i look. i was thinking about it cause my girlfriend likes (?) when im a little sneedy with it and i think thats part of why she liked me in the first place but im increasingly self conscious about it and less delusional about my own appearance etc and while that makes sense independently it makes it seem like im not into her as much anymore bc of how strong i came on at first

While I feel extreme shame from my gynephilia, I luckily feel almost euphoric from my androphilia. I suppose because its gender affirming? I mean, even beyond gender, I’d much rather be a gay man than a straight man. I’ve almost convinced myself to detranistion a couple times because of the raw beauty of homoërotic art. I’m also not too sure it’s only gender, because I strangely felt the same way when I still believed myself to be a bisexual man. It always greatly confused me, how I expected shame in the opposite way to most other bisexuals. Was I just that woke? Maybe. You could also say this was because of my still-unnamed gender dysphoria, but I’m skeptical, due to the aforementioned occasional yearning of being a gay man. I think this stems from my general dislike of straight men? Like I find stories about them and art made by them (that prominently features that theme) to be uninteresting, and it has to be better to earn my respect. Maybe this is a product of being the only queer “boy” I knew in high school and having to listen to all my straight friends talk about nothing but coerced sex and leaked nudes. I’m convinced if I ever start passing and consistently girlmode, I’d be much more comfortable with my gynephilia.

im bishit. women are hot, men are hot (unfortunately) simple as.

I’m an agp transbian freak with a high sex drive but I would do anything to be asexual.