Sexualities! How many of us have them? A question that I’ve always been interested in around here. While “I literally despise my ability to feel arousal.” takes are welcome, I’m interested in more positive views as well. They seem more uncommon.

  • CutePlushies
    2·
    6 days ago

    I’m straight, but historically in an unusual way.

    I don’t feel I super fit the Blanchard typology despite being brainwormed by it as a 13 year old, because despite being androphilic, and never having been into women, I don’t feel like I really fit HSTS boxes at all (besides maybe having dysphoria quite young). I don’t really understand what I was “meant” to be pre-trans if I never transitioned, I guess like a not very gay, asexual gay guy? I just say straight AGP now because that seems to be what it most closely evolved into I think…

    Pre-HRT I had a very high libido, or at least got aroused a lot (likely due to OCD), and couldn’t function properly without tending to it at least 3 times a day. Actually ruined my life for like 10 years from 9 to 19.

    Anyway, I never really had attraction to people directly, but rather to weird, always loosely androphilic fetishes I had. Like really weird porn brained bizarre stuff usually revolving around male genitalia in some respect or men in general as the subject. I tended to think there was just something wrong with me, like I was some bizarre form of asexual. I even larped being a straight guy briefly (never had a relationship or got intimate that way tho), before realizing the thought of being with a woman was foul to me, because it might “fix my mind” (catholic school environment).

    When I started transitioning, a lot of the weird fetish stuff went away and I just started being attracted to men normally. I actually don’t even really care much about genitalia anymore either so long as my own isn’t being used, I just kinda love the idea of being romantic and affectionate with men more than anything. I kinda relate to meta attraction stuff now too and the idea its hot to be desired by a guy as a girl so I just call myself straight AGP now. Though i do still find men directly hot regardless of how I am involved.

    Nowadays I still have a lot of brainworms about it tho, because I seem to be a very unusual case where I was just…androphilic only but in a very AGP way I guess??? Like where I had the fetish porn brain and didn’t act like a gay hussie, but while not really being AGP fundamentally.