I am an idiot and not good at sarcasm online.

Guess I am ngmi by your standards then there is no way that 4 more months of this is going to make me malefail

It was your hot take. I knew what I wrote was mean but I knew that you didn’t mean to make me feel bad so I didn’t post it. I wanted to post it anyway so I put it here basically hoping I would be the only person to know I wrote it since people snortfag on this website. I’m sorry if you feel bad from what I wrote I don’t like that I get frustrated at what others say and I try to not tell them or anyone how I feel as I know most people don’t want to make others feel bad.

I am so sorry everyone! I will no longer make a singular post or comment regarding the long standing disgust of my body that I was only able to accept at the age of 24 as in fact being gender dysphoria. I will bottle it and all other distressing feelings I have up! Even when I am on this site for my required one year I am a strong transsexual woman who can avoid blowing my brains out through sheer willpower after all! I mean ending up here definitely shows that I have a robust support system that allows me to freely discuss my concerns related to transition and due to that I should not bother those who are so much further along with anything that they could simply ignore and move on from reading. Or maybe I could go spend my money I am saving for laser on a gun I would be done saving up at least!

There is a difference between saying if your fat lose weight and saying starve yourself on a website where there are a lot of people with disordered eating tbhon. I’m a fat fuck who still has to lose another 85 lbs to be an actually healthy weight and made the mistake of posting about it in a way that is not good for others before.

I will probably retrospectively see myself in that way. Right now I just see myself as someone who is male but who needs to be and is gradually making myself female. If I can’t act female, be seen as, or look female I can’t convince myself that I am even internally. This is basically just a perspective of “trapped in” or maybe a long explaination of experiencing that internally. It is the best way I have to convey how I perceive myself. I am resistant to trying to see myself as female admittedly as it is more painful than being a man rejecting what I am.

I can’t possibly view myself as being female until I start to even vaguely resemble it. Having body hair from my fingers and toes all the way up, a full beard, and the beginnings of a thinning hairline tends to prevent one from looking female. I don’t care about male/femalebrained it’s all learned socialization and I never even got seen as a real male to begin with. I can reject perceiving myself as something I’m not while still taking every step I need to get where I want to be.

He literally asked me to stop referring to him by female pronouns! I am literally doing what he asked me to do! I would be being mean if I didn’t listen.

he

Choosing to rep when you think it will ruin your life but you have accepting lesbian mothers and live in California btw.

Everything you said very true. I am 5’8’’ and I got up to my highest of 300 lbs in I think summer 2024. Between then and last October I really just maintained my weight going down to 280 lbs. Since October I am now at ~226 lbs. I cannot overstate how much better I feel. I still have a ways to go before I am a healthy weight but it does happen.

Idk exactly what I was saying other than advice spewing. There is nothing that will motivate you other than what you already have said here that you know for motivation now you just have to do it now.

You just have to go for it completely and starting now. You can’t do a diet you have to fully change how you eat and your life. I took the middle of a healthy BMI for me in weight then based how many calories I eat per day on that. Exercise is important but it won’t be the thing to lose you the weight its literally just eating less in the end of the day. You will fail to lose weight at some point you will stagnate for weeks or a month maybe even regain some but if you keep at it you will lose the weight eventually.

Thank you so much for such a thorough response I am going to make sure I have it saved <3

Yeah I probably should have said that I’m literally only starting a facial skincare routine. I see what my post implies now

I really try I swear.

Repper who is a friend.

Thank you for the nice message. I will mention I do know my resting heart rate and blood pressure since I log it. Neither have changed my resting heart rate is still 50-55.

Your second paragraph articulated what I was trying to say <3

Yeah I am pretty obsessive over what number is on the scale and I just try to remind myself how I fluctuate multiple lbs before and after exercise just from water.

I hope its suppressed I cannot lose even one more hair to DHT.