- If I transition openly -> Abuse until Detransition
- If I transition secretly -> Abuse just later on
- If I leave my family -> Family suicide
- if I repress -> 50 years of suffering
- if I do conversion therapy -> suicide
- if I kill myself now -> Family suicide
- If I let them die -> suicide by guilt
This kind of situation cannot be solved…
The only option would be for my family to suddenly accept me being trans… which won’t ever happen.
And to all of you who say my family won’t kill themselves… they’ve already de facto did attempt to just waste away and die when I first ran away…
There is no solution… there is no hope…
Your family reacting poorly to you leaving is not your responsibility, even if it feels like it is.
I will not accept the idea of letting my family die
I’m sorry, I understand this is an unwinnable situation to be in, but at a certain point you have to choose yourself.
Is it better to choose myself and let four people die or to sacrifice myself to save four people… kind of a trolly problem
not to be an ass but folk threatening to kill themselves is pure psychological abuse
They are not doing it out of malice
They clearly are tho. If they’re not respecting you and threatening suicide to “keep you in line” or whatever they’re literally doing it out of malice
yea i cant see any way that isn’t malicious
im troon “ok imma off myself” jk “ok i change my mind”
like girl come tf on theyre not your friends
They are not threatening it… they are doing it the moment I leave again… also they are reacting like this out of severe desperation because they can’t deal with me not being there…
at one point u just gotta run
I can’t let them die… I’d kill myself
Even if they seem happy to let you die?
They are not happy with that… because I do not actually suffer… I have numbed it all away… I will just waste aways slowly…
Again, if I die they also will die… there is no winning in this… they will die if I die too… If that weren’t the case I could kill myself but that sadly isn’t an option
So you already said that then wasting away is suicide for them but when you do it and they ignore it its ok? Idk I’d definitely run away
They don’t ignore me wasting away… they are actually very worried about me, especially the last few weeks… but the solution to me getting better is not an okay solution… I don’t tell them why I’m in pain… me wasting away makes them sad but me getting better by trooning is not an okay way to get better… not for them… and honestly maybe it won’t even get better… I just… can’t solve the riddle
You need to transition that’s the treatment
Okay and then… then i will be abused until I detransition or even forced to do it… heck, the first time my parent found out that I am bisexual, they wanted to put me on testosterone… they will abuse me… and if I try to protect myself by going away, they will kill themselves…
I don’t really think they’ll die tbhonest… They’ll get better after they accept they can’t really force you to be as they want like this. Yet, i very deeply understand the risky feeling of them getting sick and not wanting them to die. You know, you’re not their only child, of your parents i mean. They have children to live for besides you.
The issue is that especially my mother is really emotionally dependent on me… if I stay shell be okay but if I go then she won’t… I could stay and troon but then the chance is big they’ll abuse me… and I don’t know how resilient I am…
Then is it possible to slooowly create a distance with your parents? One that won’t kill them and one that you’ll be free in the end?
I’ve tried that and they pulled me back completely over the span of months till I literally had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital due to me destroying my friendships due to me being so neurotic over their increased abuse and hostility and pressure… it’s difficult and honestly they don’t even let me stay away for more than 3 days… which is fucked up… my mother is extremely anxious and emotionally needy… I would beg to have like a… I see you once a week or for stay with you from Friday to Saturday… arrangement or something but ugh… idk…
Idk girl it feels like ultimatum maxxing might be better for you, kinda like, I’m gonna cut all of you away, if you don’t agree meeting with me only 2 days a week or something, and if they start abusing you don’t come back until they promise they won’t do it again, if they do, don’t visit them for 2 weeks kinda stuff.
If I say that though, my mother will immediately break down crying and begging me not to go and lose her mind and my brother will scream at me and wouldn’t that statement be outright abusive to them…?
troon out anyways family doesnt matter they manipulating you.
Family does matter…
me.
