I hate the uncertainty. I hate that there’s a chance I’m transitioning because of some disgusting fetish or sexual desire. I hate that no matter how well I embody femininity, my brain might be irrevocably tainted by maleness. If I did some brain scan and it said I had a male brain I would probably kms :(

Sorry it makes me doom so much it just hurts to think about.

  • ✿hannah✿OP
    2·
    4 days ago

    I’m not seeing any strong signs since I’ve transitioned. When I was a child and teen I had arousing female embodiment fantasies, but not so much anymore.

    Since transitioning I have had some wet dreams that are agp, which made me feel gross and perverted when I woke up. But I’m not sure how dreams work and it could be that the fear of having such a dream is causing the dream to happen.

    Mostly it is just a fear that I’m repressing the AGP desires, and if I let them come to the surface it will make my transition unjustifiable. But this could all be an OCD spiral I’m not sure.

    • Allie
      3·
      4 days ago

      It sounds like transition is doing a lot of good for you! I know these fears are powerful, but it’s very encouraging that you are not really seeing any signs that would affirm your fears. I know they’re shitty to have, but if you power thru them, theres a good life on the other side

      • ✿hannah✿OP
        2·
        4 days ago

        Thanks Allie. I’ll keep going with my transition, I think I’m happier on e. It’s always lovely to talk with you <3

        • Allie
          3·
          4 days ago

          I’m glad to hear that, it’s good to chat!! Hope you’re able to get some good in for the rest of the day hannah, you deserve it <3