I am able to stand naked in front of the mirror… it doesn’t feel great but also it doesn’t feel horrible…
I don’t understand how dypshoria feels… sometimes it feels like dysphoria isn’t even real… which makes me so faketrans to be honest… because for you all… of course dysphoria is real… but for me… idk what even counts as dysphoria or how it feels like…
I don’t have any emotions… I’m just kinda numb tbh…
Yesterday I slept in bed half naked… it didn’t really bother me… yes I felt slightly uncomfortable and tried not looking at my hairy chest and tried covering myself with the sheets all the time and all that…
But like… I don’t actually feel dysphoria clearly… physically or mentally… I don’t flinch when called sir or a man or he… it’s just what I am used to honestly…
Facial hair makes me uncomfortable and depressed but I’ve hadn’t shaved until yesterday for two weeks and yes I did feel depressed but I didn’t have a problem touching it or looking into the mirror…
I still felt better once I shaved… like a fog lifted… but that’s not enough… that’s not enough dysphoria to actually justify transition to be honest and mixed with all my mental illness… transitioning seems ludicrous.
Spending my entire 20s transitioning, losing my family, my fertility, my youth, and then failing and not passing and ending up 30y old and lost in life… how is that supposed to be a food plan in the slightest…
When on the contrary I could man up, looksmaxx, try switching majors to guarantee a job later, try getting a girlfriend, marry with 28y old and then just be an actual worthwhile human being instead of an ugly tranny failure at 30 who transitioned because of mentall illness, escapism and no tangible dysphoria.
So… is dysphoria actually real and how does it feel?
Just woke up and you’re already at it.
A good way to treat it is to take your pills, if HRT makes you feel better you have it.
Well it was the very first thought I had this morning 😭
Very good, this is a pretty obvious sign of dysphoria. Didn’t I tell you that if you rep trans thoughts are the first thing on your mind in the morning and the last in the evening?
Well… no. This has been like that for monthes and I’m just mentall ill so I probably project all of my issues unto the topic of being trans… for a while… I did the same for monthes with me thinking I was an evil soulless narcisst which turned out to be clinically false (I have BPD) and so I don’t think this is necessarily true… maybe I’m just autistic, depressed and obsessed. Isn’t that also an explanation?
I have the same thoughts and i cured my obsessive bpd, do you think I could be still bpd and I’m lying to myself???
If its persistent beyond reasonable doubt than now… there’s a difference between a couple of months and circumstances and it being persistent across time and different situations.
Yeah zone…
No, obsessing about your sex itself constantly and in a laser-focused manner is pretty much exclusively a symptom of gender dysphoria.
I saw a YouTube video of a non-transphobic autistic guy saying how he questioned his gender very very intensly for 7 monthes and even though he had dysphoria but then it just stopped and he realized he was just fixated.
How long ago was that. What if it comes back later?
I think that was like 3 monthes ago
They’re probably just repping, curious to see if they troon out
So you hope to be the one outlier. And when will you know it? How long do you plan to keep “questioning” before arriving at an answer? Five years? Ten? It’s just repping in disguise.
Why does “repping in disguise” sound so nice… like something one could sing and put in a song…
“I… am repping in disguise… oh repping in disguise… bap bap baraaaaaa… my repping is so very nice… till they put me on the ice… bapara bap bap baaaaaaaaa”
Transformers - reppers in disguise
Well… maybe I can’t arrive at an answer… and you’re right… I could either use it to repress or I could go autistic about it… meaning I mentall-health-maxx as much as possible and maximize every aspect of my life until I’m a reasonably happy and functioning adult while also fixing my sexuality through abstinence and while also using spreadsheets to document my sexuality and my gender identity feelings and my sex dysphoria and then after… idk arriving at stability… I will know… “well I’m happy with everything in life but there is still dysphoria” or “nah, everything is fixed… I was just depressed”
But I am not sure I can actually achieve this cause I can’t commit to mental health
Yeah but what if that results from a placebo or just from Estrogen generally making people more empathetic… Men need estrogen too and maybe too many men could use a little bump up of it so sexuality isn’t as loud and so the estrogen stimulates the emotional centers of the brain…
Maybe every cis man would like one singular shot of estrogen to take away some numbness and not feel as horny and allow more emotions…
And maybe every cis woman would like one singular shot of testosterone to take away a little emotional volatility, feel strong and energetic and experience some stronger horniness…
Cis men are not numb and unfeeling. YOU are numb because you are dissociated.
I am numb because I am mentall ill and depressed and have no meaning in life… wouldn’t it then make sense trying to fix all that and then if I still have dysphoria… I know that it’s true dysphoria and I’m actually trans… so why not therapy for like a year and then transition afterwards… to be sure
Saaaaym
Do you think it would be smart for me to transition… did it help you personally?
I’m in the same situation as you, i haven’t transitioned yet… Not sure etc etc you know the whole deal. We can try to figure it out i think…
We definitely should.
I’m genuinely just not really sure how to answer that because when i was in your situation I just transitioned and it turned out to be real.
Lucky you then… but what if it doesn’t for me… I can’t win against uncertainty… and if I take this leap of faith… the price might be to high, the chance of failure is too high… it’s completely unreasonable and insane to do it… for what… being pretty… being a woman… at this point i don’t even know what words even mean anymore…
Wtf is gender… what the fuck is a tree?
Why can’t you just take HRT for a bit and if you don’t like it stop?
Because if I don’t like it… people will just tell me thats dysphoria speaking and to continue… also there is the risk of a placebo effect…
It doesn’t solve the uncertainty problem… like not fully at lest… I guess.
The first is possible to the degree that people would tell you not to stop if you said you were stopping but were clearly still dysphoric like “I’m stopping because I’m a hon” rather than “I’m stopping because it feels wrong”
What are you talking about placebo effect
I’d rule out placebo because it usually doesn’t cause improvement that lasts for years.
I don’t think all men or women would like a dose of the dominant hormone of the opposite sex, but some certainly. Because they’re trans.
Okay but I actually do think people might like a shot of the opposite sex hormone cause of the effects it can have… right? Not for too long… not really too much… but enough for women to feel more energy, horniness, stoic… and enough for men to feel more emotions and less horny…
Doesn’t that make sense?
Usually men don’t like it at all when they get fed something that knocks their cock out. Most people would just get dysphoric if they got tranner doses.
I also wouldn’t like it when it stops working down there… would make me worried to be honest…
See… faketrans
Just put some testosterone gel on your princess wand, gurl
(yes, I’m memeing, but you can do that)
Eh okay… first i dont know where to get that stuff from and also i am not sure what the literature says about it and also wouldnt that cause issues with feminisation possibly…
But eh… thanks i guess for the information… (r/mtf Flashbacks) 💀
I certainly can’t help with that, putting testosterone on/in my body, ayy ell emm oh, couldn’t be me.
But I believe pooners are the right people to ask that.
Hmm… but still how do I avoid the situation of idk… if after six monthes I say… oh no… this feels uncomfortable… I feel bad… then people will just say it’s dysphoria and push me forward… but what if they are wrong?
You can stop oestrogen at any time, unlike testosterone it has very subtle changes, six months is nothing, you would be able to detransition if you felt like it.
Yeah… makes sense… ugh… my brain hates me just so much… yk what I wanted to respond right now… “yeah but what if I develop trans delusion”
See, you managed to intercept a circling, unproductive thought and culled it. That’s the first step to stopping your spiralling. Very good, keep it up.