I am able to stand naked in front of the mirror… it doesn’t feel great but also it doesn’t feel horrible…

I don’t understand how dypshoria feels… sometimes it feels like dysphoria isn’t even real… which makes me so faketrans to be honest… because for you all… of course dysphoria is real… but for me… idk what even counts as dysphoria or how it feels like…

I don’t have any emotions… I’m just kinda numb tbh…

Yesterday I slept in bed half naked… it didn’t really bother me… yes I felt slightly uncomfortable and tried not looking at my hairy chest and tried covering myself with the sheets all the time and all that…

But like… I don’t actually feel dysphoria clearly… physically or mentally… I don’t flinch when called sir or a man or he… it’s just what I am used to honestly…

Facial hair makes me uncomfortable and depressed but I’ve hadn’t shaved until yesterday for two weeks and yes I did feel depressed but I didn’t have a problem touching it or looking into the mirror…

I still felt better once I shaved… like a fog lifted… but that’s not enough… that’s not enough dysphoria to actually justify transition to be honest and mixed with all my mental illness… transitioning seems ludicrous.

Spending my entire 20s transitioning, losing my family, my fertility, my youth, and then failing and not passing and ending up 30y old and lost in life… how is that supposed to be a food plan in the slightest…

When on the contrary I could man up, looksmaxx, try switching majors to guarantee a job later, try getting a girlfriend, marry with 28y old and then just be an actual worthwhile human being instead of an ugly tranny failure at 30 who transitioned because of mentall illness, escapism and no tangible dysphoria.

So… is dysphoria actually real and how does it feel?

    • RtHonAlice
      5·
      2 days ago

      Very good, this is a pretty obvious sign of dysphoria. Didn’t I tell you that if you rep trans thoughts are the first thing on your mind in the morning and the last in the evening?

      • DysphoriaGirlOP
        2·
        2 days ago

        Well… no. This has been like that for monthes and I’m just mentall ill so I probably project all of my issues unto the topic of being trans… for a while… I did the same for monthes with me thinking I was an evil soulless narcisst which turned out to be clinically false (I have BPD) and so I don’t think this is necessarily true… maybe I’m just autistic, depressed and obsessed. Isn’t that also an explanation?

        • Basedandtrollpilled
          2·
          2 days ago

          I have the same thoughts and i cured my obsessive bpd, do you think I could be still bpd and I’m lying to myself???

          • DysphoriaGirlOP
            2·
            2 days ago

            If its persistent beyond reasonable doubt than now… there’s a difference between a couple of months and circumstances and it being persistent across time and different situations.

        • RtHonAlice
          2·
          2 days ago

          No, obsessing about your sex itself constantly and in a laser-focused manner is pretty much exclusively a symptom of gender dysphoria.

          • DysphoriaGirlOP
            1·
            2 days ago

            I saw a YouTube video of a non-transphobic autistic guy saying how he questioned his gender very very intensly for 7 monthes and even though he had dysphoria but then it just stopped and he realized he was just fixated.

            • Fuwarei
              2·
              1 day ago

              How long ago was that. What if it comes back later?

            • RtHonAlice
              2·
              2 days ago

              So you hope to be the one outlier. And when will you know it? How long do you plan to keep “questioning” before arriving at an answer? Five years? Ten? It’s just repping in disguise.

              • DysphoriaGirlOP
                2·
                2 days ago

                Why does “repping in disguise” sound so nice… like something one could sing and put in a song…

                “I… am repping in disguise… oh repping in disguise… bap bap baraaaaaa… my repping is so very nice… till they put me on the ice… bapara bap bap baaaaaaaaa”

              • DysphoriaGirlOP
                1·
                2 days ago

                Well… maybe I can’t arrive at an answer… and you’re right… I could either use it to repress or I could go autistic about it… meaning I mentall-health-maxx as much as possible and maximize every aspect of my life until I’m a reasonably happy and functioning adult while also fixing my sexuality through abstinence and while also using spreadsheets to document my sexuality and my gender identity feelings and my sex dysphoria and then after… idk arriving at stability… I will know… “well I’m happy with everything in life but there is still dysphoria” or “nah, everything is fixed… I was just depressed”

                But I am not sure I can actually achieve this cause I can’t commit to mental health