i can go back to living as a regular man, I can do it, I just have to forget all this happened, no more troon thoughts

  • SPECTREagent
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    6 days ago

    How long how you been on E? I was on for three months and quit two weeks ago - only a few people knew. Trying to cope with drugs and alcohol now.

    • its_ogreOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      6 days ago

      9 weeks. I feel like 21 is just too late for me. I’m never passing, not even close. I don’t want to be outwardly trans. I don’t want to be hatecrimed. I don’t want to be a crude imitation of a woman. I already repressed for 20 years (assuming I’m not just faketrans), maybe I can repress for more

      but when i think about getting of e… the increased libido, rapestick function, coarser skin, balding… I just can’t do it, no way

      • Ristli
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        6 days ago

        It‘s never too late to stop testosterone poisoning ^^ I started at 24 and still got a ton of changes

        • its_ogreOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          6 days ago

          most aspects of my body aren’t going to change. Plus years of repping has sort of fried my brain. I don’t think I can ever see myself as a woman. I’m pretty malebrained too. I don’t know how I’m supposed to rewire my social habits (well ig I have none because I’ve been alone for so long) to interact with women and be viewed as one. Idk it all feels hopeless.

          • pleasantaftertastes
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            6 days ago

            your brain is the most malleable part of your body. all of these things can very much change

            • its_ogreOP
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              6 days ago

              ok, that’s reassuring I guess, I still just don’t know what actionable steps I can take. idk how to make friends. my social skills have completely deteriorated. I feel like a shell of a human with no personality

              • pleasantaftertastes
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                6 days ago

                It all starts with simpler, more neutral thoughts about yourself. there are plenty of manners training courses and types for re-socialization courses (especially effective for traumatized and depressed individuals, I hear!) which all kinda snowballs into being healthier.