Then somedays I feel like it was a stupid choice to start transitioning because of how bad I look. But then a few hours later or the next day I’m thinking maybe I over reacted because I don’t look as bad as I thought, that I do have a good base, that I just need to keep losing weight and some makeup I could pass and be considered conventionally pretty. Then a while later it’ll be like I switched back to be horrible to look at. Kinda like a loop.

Anybody else struggle with this or is just like straight dooming all the time?

  • Juvie032
    2·
    4 days ago

    Yeagh… honestly I feel like my brainworms have gotten worse but I know it’s just me not dissociating 95% of the time. As I’m passing BETTER I feel like it allows me the room to feel those feelings. It’s a process

    • LobotomyCandidateOP
      2·
      4 days ago

      I feel like thats probably what it is, transitioning has led to less disassociation, then with starting to pass better then brain just like over exaggerates the features I feel dysphoric about, which leads to me being able to know what to correct/fix.

  • Foxy
    2·
    4 days ago

    Oh my god it’s so bad girlie. Sometimes I’m like “I pass right now, especially with makeup” and then other times I’m like “omg I should have never started to transition, what was I thinking”

    It’s hell. It’s so fucking bad and I need to stop it but idk how. It can change hourly too and it’s hell

    • LobotomyCandidateOP
      2·
      4 days ago

      I know I need to stop it too, my friends tell me I’m acting stupid because my face passes alright, I get told that I’m kinda cute from a whole bunch of people but I’m not sure if they’re just being nice. Even my transphobe mean girl aunt says things like “your face has always been cute and girly when you have your hair grown out so shut the fuck up.” But its like looking in the mirror and seeing that my face has warped into some manly visage in a twenty minute span and it makes me beyond upset.

      • Foxy
        1·
        4 days ago

        No that’s exactly what my life is like. People tell me I pass in photos, people irl tell me I’m pretty or cute or that I am more feminine than masc but I cannot see it sometimes, then I can see it perfectly??? It’s insanely hurtful to my mental health and i genuinely can’t do this forever like this

        • LobotomyCandidateOP
          2·
          4 days ago

          I’ve been dooming less about it recently and have just started trusting that the pretty one is the real one and that the people around me are right because I know they would tell me otherwise. I’m just operating and thinking of my face as the days where it’s fine, its lead to the warping happening less often. Sure when I do see the manly ugly face it hurts worse then it use to but its less often then months ago. I think I’m getting more realistic about how I actually look as a result.