Then somedays I feel like it was a stupid choice to start transitioning because of how bad I look. But then a few hours later or the next day I’m thinking maybe I over reacted because I don’t look as bad as I thought, that I do have a good base, that I just need to keep losing weight and some makeup I could pass and be considered conventionally pretty. Then a while later it’ll be like I switched back to be horrible to look at. Kinda like a loop.
Anybody else struggle with this or is just like straight dooming all the time?
I feel like thats probably what it is, transitioning has led to less disassociation, then with starting to pass better then brain just like over exaggerates the features I feel dysphoric about, which leads to me being able to know what to correct/fix.