What’s it like in your mind? How do you think about things? I need to understand your perspective. I’m so curious and I need to peek over the fence.

  • noneday
    7·
    21 hours ago

    im depressed anyways, unable to appreciate what i have been given. i feel alienated from everyone else who lives normally though. i might be trauma free and theoretically NT but i was really isolated growing up homeschooled so i might not be a good sample. when i see people who’ve gone through any hardship at all i feel guilty and invalid. im not gonna describe this as if i deserve any sympathy. i think trooning and mental illness is all just a game to me and i could snap out of it if i chose to. it’s ridiculous i know but i cannot be convinced otherwise. it’s like i chose to live my life this way because everything else was just too boring.

    • slavicbrowbonecurse
      1·
      18 hours ago

      omg i literally get that last thought so often 😭 this is probably the most convincing faketrans argument for myself, mainly because i cant even remember what male puberty or realising im a tranny even was like, since i was 12 at the time. with the memory gone it kinda feels like i may have just done it because i wanted my life to be interesting, also reinforced by the fact that constant depersonalization often makes me feel like im just watching a tv show instead of actually living as somebody, so willing something that would make the spectacle more interesting into fruition would kinda make sense?

    • pleasantaftertastesOP
      2·
      21 hours ago

      I really don’t think you trooned because you wanted to crank the difficulty setting, but this is pretty real. you’ve been through tough stuff, too. Trauma is no joke.

      • noneday
        2·
        21 hours ago

        i logically know life is mentally hard for everyone regardless of how objectively hard it is, so i do get what you’re saying. i relate to people with more trauma more than i relate to people with less. like anna said there’s just some absence of humanity. maybe even if the objective difficulties of our lives are drastically different we can relate on the subjective experience.

  • Math_troon
    5·
    21 hours ago

    I think I qualify for the mostly trauma free one (tho I have adhd but whatever) but I don’t really know what to say here…

      • Math_troon
        3·
        21 hours ago

        I’m sorry I really thought about it and I really don’t know what to say ( ´-｀)

        Like, I’m quite ambitious in theory ig. But not as much in practice. I spend A LOT of time daydreaming like it’s basically instinctual to me. I think I’m mostly logical, tho if I’m making a decision for my life I motly pick the one that seems like the more entertaining one. That’s why I study math in the first place. Not to learn anything practical, just for the sake of doing math.

        But here I’m just mostly describing weird side effects of adhd to you I can’t think of anything else. Sorry…

      • Math_troon
        3·
        21 hours ago

        yea, I mean if this place didn’t have such extreme trauma I would mention stuff like “oh I don’t rememver ever feeling comfortable around my dad he literally hit me for losing in a game once” but because it didn’t really happen all that frequently I can’t really call it “abuse” and take myself seriously y’know??

        Maybe I have a little bit of religious trauma tho Idk, I was sent to a religious school so I had very little ineraction with the “opposite” sex when growing up and I still wish they didn’t give me false hope of an afterlife and I do wish that I didn’t have a family that would fuck my life up if they learned that I’m not religous anymore, let alone trans.

        But again these things are so mild that I would never call myself traumatized.

        • rank1bedrotter
          2·
          21 hours ago

          I don’t even have anything like that lol, all I have was being bullied over being a tranny back in high school lol and that never rly went to physical violence or anything except one guy groping me a couple times

      • rank1bedrotter
        21·
        21 hours ago

        Idk I still hate myself and want to end it all tho it does also feel like I’m whining about nothing when compared to everyone else here (not that it makes me feel any better about my life)

  • inthelightoferis
    3·
    21 hours ago

    im not convinced there is such a thing as a tranny without trauma tbh

    mayyybe rich turboyoungshits from canada, the usa or some parts of western europe

  • galileopunk
    3·
    21 hours ago

    Pretty sure I qualify? I’ve had some people suspect autism, but I’ve never needed support. I dealt with OCD at one point, but responded very well to medication.

    How do I think about what things? I’d probably need some more specifics, to be honest.

    • pleasantaftertastesOP
      1·
      21 hours ago

      How does your mind function? How do you make connections and go about tasks? What is your relationship with motivations and your memories? how do you relate and communicate with other humans? So many questions… forgive me bombarding you with them. Answer however you like, I’m grateful regardless. I just find the juxtaposition fascinating!

      • galileopunk
        3·
        21 hours ago

        I often have music or a video on to complete most tasks. It’s nice to have a bit of entertainment. I feel primarily motivated by getting out and being in a place where I feel ready to work. Memories are sort of hazy before about 16.

        As for relating with others, I usually bond over common interests, I guess? I prefer to talk about things that feel substantive and interesting, but I spend a lot of time alone by choice. I generally appreciate practical solutions or support for problems I’m having.

          • galileopunk
            2·
            21 hours ago

            Thanks! I’m glad you like my writing style. To be fair, that comment seemed awfully boring to me, but I guess it’s just because I live in my own head.

      • Ya'll_Are_Bots (Tay)
        2·
        20 hours ago

        I’m on west coast time and I can’t sleep cause I have a painful stye in my eye 🙃

        I defo think I fit the bill for this post, but I believe it’s largely because I’m like 1.5-2x older than everybody here so the world I grew up in wasn’t nearly as fucking loud and saturated and narcissistic as most of the lil basket cases in this server 🤷🏻‍♀️

        My mother was a wretched drunk, but after 7 I only saw her on the weekends and my father was fully uninterested or emotionally unequipped to have children so I was mostly raised by books, teachers, and Mother Nature 💁🏻‍♀️

        Thus I’m so fucking charming

          • 🧶 Annaflll 🐈‍⬛
            3·
            21 hours ago

            ?_? okay… How? It’s not even about me, just stuff u described are the worst stuff that can happen to a person, u can’t just casually say that, compared to u I’m a fucking luxurious fucking white princess

            • pleasantaftertastesOP
              3·
              21 hours ago

              like I said, comparison is foolish. our suffering is ours, and it is the greatest and only suffering we can know.

              • 🧶 Annaflll 🐈‍⬛
                21·
                21 hours ago

                Yeah, but everything in the world is measurable, sorry low-key I need a way to devalue myself :>

                At least I’ll make sure to use my privilege to maximum extent, tho I already failing at it… I’m not even functional… Genuinely how do u do it? U have some advice or whatever? My brain only loves to torture me not being productive

                • pleasantaftertastesOP
                  2·
                  21 hours ago

                  I don’t really know myself. (though again, there isn’t really any privilege in being a trans woman. it doesn’t get much lower on the totem pole.) Advice for what? Just so I know how to answer here.

  • puppyoomf
    2·
    20 hours ago

    thats kind of a hard question to answer… i dont really know what i think about, to be honest. a lot of my brain space is taken up by whatever song or sound i last listened to. its like i have a weird sort of broken record spinning around in there instead of an internal monologue. i push my fingers against the palm of my hand as if i were playing it on a piano. other than that i guess i do a lot of worrying and daydreaming, usually both combined. its kind of scary typing this out cause im realizing just how little i think haha

    • puppyoomf
      1·
      20 hours ago

      probably relevant that i rarely go more than an hour without a video playing in my earbuds, as in, like, i stop to shower and thats it, unless im engaged with someone else in person

  • sophia
    2·
    20 hours ago

    i dont have trauma im just miserable for attention and all my mental disorders are faked

  • Narcissus
    2·
    21 hours ago

    i haven’t experienced anything bad so i made myself trans for diversity points i think. in dont really think about anything because as soon as i think too deeply i start getting really anxious and stuff