Today is my injection day. I feel that I’m just not ready enough to be a tranny. Idk, recently I’ve also been feeling really anxious. Can this be from low/high estrogen levels? Or am I just scared of the social consequences. I don’t think I’ve experienced reverse dysphoria in any way. More so the societal consequences have been getting into me. What if I grow breasts and my family notices? What if the people around me do? Is boymoding really possible? I’m having doubts that I’ll be able to go unnoticed for a year. My family, the way they speak about me, even though I look like a faggot they still sincerely believe that I’m completely a guy. I don’t want to do this to myself. I don’t want to lose my social privileges. I don’t want to lose my ability to experience malebrained games and culture just to avoid being malebrained. I don’t even have any female friends. Only two guys. What the hell do I even know about femininity? How do I even know what it actually means to be a woman? How am I even going to make a career? How am I going to get a good job and a stable future? Will I really be able to become a surgeon as a tranny?
As someone who boymoded 3 years into HRT I think boymoding is always possible because people don’t really notice if your body changes as long as you still have the same face… because they’ll more identify you, and through that your gender, instead of identifying your gender directly…
But also maybe I’m not a passoid in this case, what do I know…
take your shot
Idk the pressure is making me hesitant
dont rep you’ll regret it, you will hate yourself so much for every day you spent like that masculinizing from testosterone. and you say “what do i know about femininity?” but it comes more naturally than you think like i was pretty fucking malebrained and didnt know sht about being a woman but it literally just happens… also you don’t have to lose the ability to experience malebrained games/culture. for a time i forced myself to be overly fembrained and have only fembrained interests cause i was v insecure about my femininity, but i eventually embraced the fact that i actually have some malebrained interests and can act like a dude sometimes and thats ok. it’s not like cis tomboys dont exist and it doesnt make you any less of a woman
I’ll be taking my shot. I don’t want to miss out on my life. I’ve never ever really taken a risk this big. But I hope that the stars align. And I’ll have to fix my low self value too. Dysohoria is not the only issue I’m suffering from.
understandable. i hope you can increase your self-esteem as time goes on and you get further into transition. i’m glad you made the right choice :)
The thing is, if you have confidence, people will fucking believe you. You can hide your stuff, be careful as much as you can, and even if they somehow see your changes, you can just feign ignorance and say “yeah I’ve been gaining weight it’s a bit weird” or “I have gyno” lol, and similar shit. Like you’ve started hrt, you’re scared and i understand that because i haven’t even started hrt but I’ve stepped repchadding and yesterday i was scared of being a tranny. You’ve already started, you like being on E, then by all means you should continue. Don’t let anyone else take that happiness away from you… just set some boundaries with your parents so they don’t invade your privacy or something.
It’s only been 2 weeks. I can’t really say if I like it for sure. But so far it is positive. Okay, I’m going to take my shot. Idk what I’m going to do if my boobs grow before vacation. I can lie to my friends, but my parents would get concerned. So this way I’ve decided to leave my life behind. But instead of commiting suicide I’m just letting everything collapse. Rolling the dice.
Yayy, if it’s positive then it means you like it no? Your worries are extremely similar to mine… i get it. Also ALWAYS BE INTELLIENT AS A TROON literally, act smart. Think things through as to how you can hide shit or find workarounds. Make use of every opportunity and ability you have to live the life you want
