Today is my injection day. I feel that I’m just not ready enough to be a tranny. Idk, recently I’ve also been feeling really anxious. Can this be from low/high estrogen levels? Or am I just scared of the social consequences. I don’t think I’ve experienced reverse dysphoria in any way. More so the societal consequences have been getting into me. What if I grow breasts and my family notices? What if the people around me do? Is boymoding really possible? I’m having doubts that I’ll be able to go unnoticed for a year. My family, the way they speak about me, even though I look like a faggot they still sincerely believe that I’m completely a guy. I don’t want to do this to myself. I don’t want to lose my social privileges. I don’t want to lose my ability to experience malebrained games and culture just to avoid being malebrained. I don’t even have any female friends. Only two guys. What the hell do I even know about femininity? How do I even know what it actually means to be a woman? How am I even going to make a career? How am I going to get a good job and a stable future? Will I really be able to become a surgeon as a tranny?
The thing is, if you have confidence, people will fucking believe you. You can hide your stuff, be careful as much as you can, and even if they somehow see your changes, you can just feign ignorance and say “yeah I’ve been gaining weight it’s a bit weird” or “I have gyno” lol, and similar shit. Like you’ve started hrt, you’re scared and i understand that because i haven’t even started hrt but I’ve stepped repchadding and yesterday i was scared of being a tranny. You’ve already started, you like being on E, then by all means you should continue. Don’t let anyone else take that happiness away from you… just set some boundaries with your parents so they don’t invade your privacy or something.
It’s only been 2 weeks. I can’t really say if I like it for sure. But so far it is positive. Okay, I’m going to take my shot. Idk what I’m going to do if my boobs grow before vacation. I can lie to my friends, but my parents would get concerned. So this way I’ve decided to leave my life behind. But instead of commiting suicide I’m just letting everything collapse. Rolling the dice.
Yayy, if it’s positive then it means you like it no? Your worries are extremely similar to mine… i get it. Also ALWAYS BE INTELLIENT AS A TROON literally, act smart. Think things through as to how you can hide shit or find workarounds. Make use of every opportunity and ability you have to live the life you want