I’m really just sorry but it just feels like sexuality inherently invalidates transness and that it should not exist and that a trans person should in the best case scenario literally be asexual until transition, so literally not even capable of feeling any sexual stuff.
Like to me this just feels true… that sexuality makes gender inherently dirty and bad and invalid because if somebody sexualizes wanting to be a woman then clearly they are not a woman or would just want to be that out of sexual reasons…
Being a woman is not inherently sexual and existing with a body, having a gender is non sexual endeavor and so sexuality should not play any role in being trans and wanting to change that gender…
If one’s gender and sexualiy are tangled up, then we have a major problem and need to first remove or fix the sexuality before we can allow any new gender…
Like sex is just bad and if one doesn’t want their gender to be corrupted by that then it has to never have had anyhting to do or be shaped by sexuality.
That’s how it feels to me.
No, no no no no. Not if that means I’m worthless. Either good trans people exist that are pure and not tainted and knew early on and are good and not evil or male in any way and are not gross and are just normal good deserving people who pass and are normal and not icky or hypersexual or weird or mentally fucked up and deranged.
Either they exist or being a tranny is something nobody should ever want to be cause then it’s supposedly just people doing ugly gross things and saying they are women and being mentally ill and being on 4chan and acting in moid way.
I want to be a good trans person but that ship has sailed because I was never effeminate as a child, I didn’t realize early on, I was not attracted to men as a child, I wasn’t feminine, it wasn’t clear that transition is necessary and inevitable and I didn’t know early on and I wasn’t sexually pure or like asexual or female in my sexuality.
No, I belong to the bad trans category.
And if that’s the case, I don’t want it!
I just want to be loved and clean and not dirty anymore and not hated. I don’t want to be seen as gross. All I ever wanted in life was to people to stop looking at me and thinking I am gross and weird and a creep. I am so disgusting 😣
I know that pain and it kept me from transitioning for a very long time. And it’s such a hard pain to carry. The world really, really wants you to believe this. I can’t say that I don’t still feel it.
You will not be able to escape it by joining the hate. That’s going to take you to some dark places. The only chance for relief is transition.
You can think what you want but my wife is very happy to be a lesbian with me, and you should reconsider embracing language that prefers my death instead of this outcome.