Feels like the only way to find accepting people is to brute force it by befriending queer people atp. I’m still kinda scared of someone I know seeing me there as it will be in the most iconic place in my school lmao but it will be fine probs…

Also this might be dumb but do I introduce myself with my deadname or the foid name becuz idk I never uttered the words “I’m trans” or “I’m a woman” out loud before so it’s kinda scary to say something along those lines and by scary I mean I can barely say it even to myself when I’m alone like there is barrier in my throat or something

Anyway I’m sure I’ll get over myself eventually idk I should probs shave my arms and stuff too I’ll full on twinkmode (like wearing a t-shirt with short sleeves) instead of hoodiemoding I think.

    • Maffy 🏞OP
      1·
      1 month ago

      I don’t see what’s brave about this… half the paragraphs mention being scared of something. Unless you mean the will to change things? idk

      • electricangel
        4·
        1 month ago

        being brave means being scared but doing it regardless. i also wish i was brave enough to go to something like that…

        • Maffy 🏞OP
          2·
          1 month ago

          I suppose… Tho I haven’t done anything yet. When the time comes, my brain will be desperately looking for reasons to chicken out. I guess we’ll see how it goes…

  • justsomefag
    4·
    1 month ago

    I hope it’ll be fun and that you get to meet some cool people!

    • Maffy 🏞OP
      3·
      1 month ago

      I hope… I’m tired of all my friends being men who would prolly look at me with disgust if they knew I was trans…

  • alteracion
    3·
    1 month ago

    I feel like it would depend on when you think you’re going to come out, the closer you are to doing so the more you might wanna bite the bullet so you can have people who won’t have seen you “before” and know your deadname

    • Maffy 🏞OP
      3·
      1 month ago

      I’m not coming out to anyone I already know irl… Like ever…

      • alteracion
        2·
        1 month ago

        I very much understand the sentiment but you come across as bright-eyed and are talking about “twinkmoding”. I don’t know you or your situation but I wouldn’t be surprised if you did and if it turns out to be worth it.

        • Maffy 🏞OP
          2·
          1 month ago

          Twinkmoding literally just means wearing a t-shirt instead of something that hides my entire body shape like a hoodie lmao. I just made that word up I didn’t realize people would be confused by what I meant with that.

          Also idk what bright-eyed means…

          • alteracion
            2·
            1 month ago

            I wasn’t confused by it, I’m saying if your starting point is twink or if you’re already there you may have a good chance. bright-eyed is like young and happy, happy in a young way I guess

            • Maffy 🏞OP
              2·
              1 month ago

              Oh, I see. Well the reason I don’t want to come out is because I do not know a single person who wouldn’t be disgusted by it. I mean parents would kill me, the only reason I feel the confidence to go there is because I study in an entirely different city from them.

              But I do feel I’m more or less lucky looks-wise, so you’re kinda right in a way.

              • alteracion
                2·
                1 month ago

                fair, I wasn’t suggesting you need to be out to people who would react badly

  • Kath
    2·
    1 month ago

    can you shorten either name to something androgynous? my old consellor once suggested that to me

    • Maffy 🏞OP
      2·
      1 month ago

      Surname is technically androgynous I suppose… Maybe I’ll try that idk

  • mooncafe
    2·
    1 month ago

    bring something thoughtful to make good impression food is the ultimate strategy or even make something