Feels like the only way to find accepting people is to brute force it by befriending queer people atp. I’m still kinda scared of someone I know seeing me there as it will be in the most iconic place in my school lmao but it will be fine probs…

Also this might be dumb but do I introduce myself with my deadname or the foid name becuz idk I never uttered the words “I’m trans” or “I’m a woman” out loud before so it’s kinda scary to say something along those lines and by scary I mean I can barely say it even to myself when I’m alone like there is barrier in my throat or something

Anyway I’m sure I’ll get over myself eventually idk I should probs shave my arms and stuff too I’ll full on twinkmode (like wearing a t-shirt with short sleeves) instead of hoodiemoding I think.

  • alteracion
    2·
    16 days ago

    I very much understand the sentiment but you come across as bright-eyed and are talking about “twinkmoding”. I don’t know you or your situation but I wouldn’t be surprised if you did and if it turns out to be worth it.

    • MaffyOP
      2·
      16 days ago

      Twinkmoding literally just means wearing a t-shirt instead of something that hides my entire body shape like a hoodie lmao. I just made that word up I didn’t realize people would be confused by what I meant with that.

      Also idk what bright-eyed means…

      • alteracion
        2·
        16 days ago

        I wasn’t confused by it, I’m saying if your starting point is twink or if you’re already there you may have a good chance. bright-eyed is like young and happy, happy in a young way I guess

        • MaffyOP
          2·
          16 days ago

          Oh, I see. Well the reason I don’t want to come out is because I do not know a single person who wouldn’t be disgusted by it. I mean parents would kill me, the only reason I feel the confidence to go there is because I study in an entirely different city from them.

          But I do feel I’m more or less lucky looks-wise, so you’re kinda right in a way.

          • alteracion
            2·
            16 days ago

            fair, I wasn’t suggesting you need to be out to people who would react badly