I have probably in my life time accidently seen multiple video of women being raped without even noticing because what the fuck do you expect will happen when you abuse the mind of a teenger with unsupervised internet acess and they end up not even remembering the stuff they have seen because they have seen so much and been exposed so helplessly for such a long time and in such a violent invasive way to the product produced by an industry that systematically abuses and traffics and rapes people. I have seen so much stuff and been programmed by this shit so early on that I probably didnt even notice abuse that was depicted in this stuff… today is of course very different… but is it really different…
When I have seen the pictures of thousands of ripped apart bodies and dead children in war zones and turned away on purpose so that I dont end up going insane… just to make the images stop in my head… when I have seen so many dehumanizing things and depictions… Read about so much violence and suffering… seen so many self harm scares and people who kill themselves… see a video of some poor girl hanging herself… see all this insane shit and simply cannot look away…
And you ask me why I beleive that in the future you will have senseless terrorism… people blowing shit up and killing as many people as they can, not because they actually believe in something, but rather actually because they dont believe in anything… just going out there and hurting people because suffering and pain seems like the only real thing left… Simply the strongest impulse, capable of bringing you back into your body, when everything else seems to try to rip your soul out of you and tear you apart… when everyhing else is framgented…
I am not adovcating for violence in any form… I hate violence… but the world doesnt seem real… doesnt seem like it matters… nothing seems real or stable… only violence seems real… that truth is something not discovered but rather imposed by violence and might alone… that that which I impose by killing every opposing voice… that that is actually truth and meaning.
I am maybe too nihilistic… but the world just seems insane to me… and painful…
And I dont know how to get out of this mindset…
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I know… violence against people is never good… I dont want anybody to be ever hurt… it just feels like the world is going insane and trying to not go insane alongside it… feels so utterly impossible… I have asked myself for a long time if I am somewhat insane… because I have felt insane for a long time… but I think nowadays we all feel insane.
So sorry you saw these things. I did too at a young age. Still suffer from intrusive thoughts bc of that. But idk I don’t believe the world is that bad. The Internet and the news are just good at focusing on the bad things. Its basically just a bias.
We have just build a world that brings out the worst in people and puts the worst among us to the top. But people in general are mostly decent. And once you interact with many people you start to realize that. That was at least my experience. Maybe you had the opposite.
Idk if this is helpful. I hope maybe a bit at least
Thank you… it just feels like at a certain age… at a certain time… the world broke and since then we have all just been living in some sort of simulated torturuse limbo
I feel you. Sorry, I won’t be able to help with it. My views on life slowly descended into borderline anti-life sentiments of wanting this world to be over in whatever way is possible too. I hope you will be able to escape these thoughts and not succumb to them like I did, there is nothing here but isolation. 🫂
It is a rather miserable view of the world… this almost schizophrenic dissonance in your brain… where you just want things to fit again, to make sense again… want some sort of ontological purity… want everything in existence wiped out… so that we can start fresh… want all the messiness of this world gone cause it is refusing to exist coherently… becaues it feels like reality is fragmenting and we are just ending up with noise.
Because these terrible things exist, we have to be steadfast. We have to choose to stand on the side of stability and protection. We have to not let these terrible horrible things encroach itself into the minds of our close ones. I know all of these horrible things too, and because I know, it becomes my responsibility to protect my people against them. You as a girl who knows these are wrong and terrible, yet also have seen them. You need to harden your mind against it. Don’t let it affect you, don’t let it consume you. Don’t let it occupy you.
I’m proud of you. We’ll stand against these together
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Good point… but please for fuck’s sake let’s not pretend like this is just “the youth being too much on their phone”… because this is all of society… I am sorry for being a participant and consumer in the digital crack trade… you are as well… you are just more comparable to a functional alcoholic… because in reality nobody has a “healthy relationship” with this machinery of death that is hyperreal cyberspace… we are removing our spiritual organs from our body… it feels like humanity is commiting suicide… but yeah… sure… it’s probably just “phone bad” (true, but not enough)
