i often hear people say starting HRT was incredibly exciting & gave them a reason to live. i cant really relate.

i was a normal, mildly depressed, functional adult. my life was a better- it felt better. everyday didnt hurt so much, life just felt vaguely meaningless outside of my one passion.

as it currently stands, my mental state has only gotten worse. this really doesnt seem normal for many trannies.

i may just still be grieving and accepting the fact ill have to be some misshapen abomination. im not sure.

  • deafsky
    8·
    5 days ago

    this happened to me too, but it was actually when i realized moreso than when i started hrt. but hrt also worsened it lol. i went from being as you describe “a mildly depressed but functional adult” to a fucking wreck that had constant crashouts about my body and being a man

    idk how much time you consciously repped, i personally did for a little more than 1.5 years but let me tell you that that shit would have totally killed me if i hadn’t started hrt. but estrogen famously makes you feel more of the good and the bad so in the beginning the crashouts worsened, even if at the same time i felt relief from my body stopping to deform itself

    turns out, i wasn’t “mildly depressed”, i was dissociated out of my fucking mind to a stupid degree where i was empty like if someone dug out with a shovel my metaphysical guts. anyway, my point is that if your depression is about how your body feels too masculine then that’s absolutely not being faketrans. i would even argue that the trannies that say that hrt immediately improved their mood are just kinda sneedy and coping, or luckshits

    • j3nOP
      2·
      5 days ago

      this sounds very reasonable. my emotions used to be pretty muted. it made being really sad on average feel manageable. i had apathy.

      now im aware of the root cause of my body issues and my emotions are very intense; its a recipe for absolute disaster honestly.

      thank you for the reassurance. i cant imagine a future where i age as a man, so its still for the best at the end of the day. even if i hate every second of this.

  • Domestic_Teto4562
    6·
    5 days ago

    real, i just feel more anxious than before, hope it gets better at some point or something

  • anneneum
    3·
    5 days ago

    I can help you cope and say its just pent up stuff or something but the truth is I dont know shit and just hope that something can make us feel better

    • j3nOP
      3·
      5 days ago

      same girl, same… it cant hurt this bad forever, right? surely, in time, it will get better

  • e_enanthate
    2·
    5 days ago

    Biochemical dysphoria gone, subconsciously stop disassociating, thus you feel worse. Trutrans