I didn’t even notice I had it until symptoms became severe enough, I was so dissociated I scored zero on some test because I just didn’t notice that I was spacing out, I didn’t knew absence of any long-term memory wasn’t normal etc.

Sometimes I feel my body is a puppet on strings I’m controlling from outside. I space out, especially when reliving trauma. My memories are blurred and the further from transition they go, the less they feel as if that person from my memories was me.

like you’re viewing the world from behind glass

like you’re completely disconnected from your emotions. you notice them but you don’t feel them, you’re like a robot. you’re operating purely on detached logic not emotions

it can actually be kind of helpful in crisis situations sometimes. when misery was in the process of killing herself I didn’t really feel anything and as a result I was able to at least try to save her. but I couldn’t and ever since the dissociation faded I’ve been in and out of hysterics

I pay very little attention to everything and I don’t have long-term memory. I can’t recall what I did two days ago, all memories from the past are non-existent, every day is flying buy and it feels like I don’t exist. I also daydream a lot

Kinda feel like im a spectator of my own life and body and cant do shit myself

It’s ok to not dissociate. I never did. I turned to other coping mechanisms (mainly drugs and drinking). I feel emotions too intensely and regularly have breakdowns

feels like i’m controlling my own sim

mostly visual things, like blurry, no colours, also the sounds gets softers, hard to talk or move sometimes

and i dont remember anything

idk anymore, I’m tired. I’ll think about if I relate to the rest of these responses tomorrow. The only thing I’ve noticed is like, I have a really hard time thinking about my internal state. Like when I’m reading these things, I feel like it should be easy to say if I do or don’t feel like my body is a puppet on strings, but I’m clueless. The fact that I’m unsure probably means I don’t experience it tbf, so prob don’t have dissociation.

personally it’s almost equivalent to brain death for me; sometimes that persists for days

brain death as in i could be playing some funny game with text in it and have to read like 8 times the same lines if it’s actually something important so even though i’m entirely focused on it and enjoying it fuck all is processing in my head

most of my trauma has lead to disassociation being my only escape so my case is way more severe compared to others

same im so faketrans becaus of it

You probably have experienced it

You’re not faketrans. Being mentally ill is not a prerequisite for bring trans. It comes with the terrain but you don’t need to suffer x amount, except dysphoria, to be trans and deserve transition. I also don’t dissociate