I like HRT but when I think about the positives and downsides there are a lot more downsides socially than positives.

Idk I wasn’t happy but I at least had a stable situation. Now? God knows what will happen. Possibly the worst.

For what it’s worth I’m not even that dysphoric. And odds are that dysphoria might not even be real. Or maybe it is real but I’m just mentally strong enough to ignore it and not give much thought.

The small amount of self love I will have for myself compared to all the hate and malice that will surround me is honestly just not worth it.

    • Zmeya04OPM
      1·
      7 days ago

      Well, I don’t want to lose my family or the other people I love in my life.

      It’s not a necessity for me to live

    • Zmeya04OPM
      2·
      7 days ago

      Can you stop doubting yourself?

      Respectfully, this is the equivalent of telling a dysphoric person to stop being dysphoric. It just doesn’t work like that with people with OCD, it’s called doubting disorder/disease for a reason.

      You don’t have it

      Can’t tell if this is a typo or you genuinely meant it judging by what follows and precedes. I guess you are right in the fact that it’s really hard for me to accept all of this is happening though. I can’t believe it.

      • its_ogre
        1·
        7 days ago

        Yeah that’s what I picked up on. Your doubting is literally the crux of the problem, how is it helpful to say “just stop doubting?”

    • its_ogre
      2·
      7 days ago

      This is gonna sound annoying, but… how do you just stop doing that. Like what does that actually look like in practice? I have the same problem where I’m over-analyzing everything and doubting constantly, but it’s completely impulsive and I feel I have no control over it. One day I think I’ve made a conclusion and accept I’m a tranny, and the next I forget it all and go back to thinking I’m a sissy fetishist.

        • its_ogre
          2·
          7 days ago

          Hmmm. I think I get what you’re saying. I guess what you’re getting at is that we can be very selective with the kinds of thoughts we pay attention to. Kind of like how you can focus on one negative comment despite getting 1000 positive ones. So for every 1000 affirmative trutrans thoughts that I never write down (and inevitably forget), I have 1 faketrans thought that I pay attention to and spiral on. This is actually a good point because I do journal right now, but I mostly only ever write stuff down that is extremely negative that makes me wanna kms. So maybe every time i get a thought that points in the direction of me being trutrans, I’ll write that down in my journal to kind of counterbalance the faketrans doubting thoughts.

          Is this what you mean?

  • Emioi
    1·
    7 days ago

    It will just end with you transitioning significantly later and facing even bigger challenges. You can also just manmode it’s still better than repping

    • Zmeya04OPM
      1·
      7 days ago

      Will I transition later though? Idk honestly.

      I also not to humblebrag but it’s physically impossible for me to manmode.

      • Emioi
        3·
        7 days ago

        If you feel dysphoric at all then you will transition in the future. You’ll just feel like you have wasted your whole life lying to yourself and actively getting worse. As long as transition doesn’t put you in immediate danger you should just stay on it. Nobody’s opinion on trans people is more important than saving yourself from the torture of repping