Some people tell me I pass, some say I don’t, the worst case was someone telling me that I look like a handsome man and ugly woman at the same time, but I can’t trust any of it. Every time I look in the mirror I see different face, ranging from manly man to effeminate twink, it changes several times a day and is always distorted in some disgusting way. The only things I absolutely know for a fact is that I have strong jaw and visible browbone but with okay-ish proportions, the rest is a blur filled in by my brainworms.
You have bdd + maybe a facial processing disorder, yes i think its extremely common for trans ppl, at least the ones here
I like to give advice to people about ffs and makeup and like other things that change the face, but if someone has features too similar to mine my brain just breaks and i cant really say anything useful
I ended up just finding someone who i genuinely trusted that they were both competent at analyzing faces and also arent lying or trying to gain something specific
“facial processing disorder” - very elaborate way of saying autism, and yeah, I do. I literally couldn’t remember my ex bf’s face for the first two weeks of knowing him…
very elaborate way if saying autism, and yeah, I do.
Hey there could have been other reasons… But yes when i wrote it i figured autism with 80% odds… I admit it
There’s maybe 1% chance for tranny using some obscure site like this to not have autism lol
I really need someone who can judge my face without having any interest in lying to me. Psychologist and friends hugbox me ever since I admited to plans of roping, meanwhile I bet that ffs specialist would try to sell me even more surgeries for things I’m not even brainwormed about.
meanwhile I bet that ffs specialist would try to sell me even more surgeries for things I’m not even brainwormed about.
There are some with enough integrity to not do this at least, if you make it clear what you goals for the surgery are. So for example “having no features that are closer to the male average than the female average” vs “uwu the prettiest i can be”
I’ll keep that in mind. I hope to find someone who understands what “removing masculinised features while keeping me recognisable” means
I think like almost everyone here can relate… it doesn’t help that we’re lied to by our own kind so often, either direction (but mostly hugboxxing)
I’ve heard so many wildly different things about my looks that I have hard time trusting anyone now.
But one of the most painful had to be: “Cis women also can have jaw like this! You look exactly like my high school bestie!” shows me a picture of cishon that makes me feel sorry for her
yeah
i get waves of honfidence sometimes
Holy fuck yeah. People online usually tell me I pass, yet I have yet to pass in public. Idc tho. I’m just gonna honmode until I die. At least I’m happy
I envy you in a way. I feel like I don’t have right to show my face in public as long as I don’t pass
I need to pass. It’s all I want. I will honmode until I’m a passoid. I’m getting better at it too. You should try. It’s the only way to pass
Exactly. I was trying to explain this to my doctor as a kid, but unfortunately, I had already told about my hallucinations, so he just chalked it up to that. Then again, he didn’t even think my hallucinations were real lmao. It kind of feels like my life is a joke.
I guess it’s caused purely by dysphoria, your subconscious doesn’t accept the fact that this is supposed to be your face and tries to remove it from the mind, and then your brainworms fill-in the gaps, so the image depends mostly on how you feel and how dysphoric are you at the moment.
We really shouldn’t ever see psychs who have no experience with transsexuals, they’re useless or even harmful to us, and many are there only to torture us.
Oh absolutely, but my experience is more along the lines of my face morphing to something else in my memory than what you have going on. I have a tendency to stare at myself in the mirror as a way to reinforce my self-visualization, but I always stray back towards having an inconsistent memory of my face. I don’t really have this issue with people that I know well, or people who have distinct facial features, so I’m suspecting it’s a dysphoria thing as it’s slowly gotten better over the past couple months now that I don’t clearly look like a woman anymore.
Exactly opposite of me. My honfidence slowly grows when I don’t see mirror for long enough, and I feel violated by every reflective surface on my way silently mocking me. I’m glad it got better for you though.
