Am I ugly in my choice of words and attitude and communication… I feel really ugly… God, I hate sexuality so much… I’m sorry… I’m so bothersome… I’m so stinky and filthy and bad and ugly… I’m a dumbass and I hate these desires…
I don’t even know what it’s actually like to want something… I’ve grown so accustomed to sexuality just being this awful thing you do to get away from yourself or to satisfy some disgusting thirst but it is never actually quenched.
Yeah… partly… but it also just… feels like nothing… I kinda… I’m not there when it happens… like my mind turns off… it’s not dissociation but it’s just like a not-me state… and I also just… I’ve had a very bad development so I’m really abused down there and idk… it’s all just so messed up.
Ugh, why would anybody even keep talking to me after me disclosing that.
Thank you… I just… want to fix it… this has been traumatizing me for years… and I just don’t know how to fix it… sometimes I feel like maybe I don’t even want to… cause I don’t want to give myself a chance… don’t want to mourn… don’t want to get better because it’s easier to think I’m just bad.
Yeah…and most of us are ugly troons… so we’re all rapehons then… ugh… I knew it…fmstl… fuck
It’s more about communication, choice of words,. attitude… I doubt any of you here are uglier than the 49-year-old guy I slept with last week.
It’s about mojo, girl, spice, and knowing how to get things done.
Am I ugly in my choice of words and attitude and communication… I feel really ugly… God, I hate sexuality so much… I’m sorry… I’m so bothersome… I’m so stinky and filthy and bad and ugly… I’m a dumbass and I hate these desires…
I don’t even know what it’s actually like to want something… I’ve grown so accustomed to sexuality just being this awful thing you do to get away from yourself or to satisfy some disgusting thirst but it is never actually quenched.
Ugh… I’m sorry… I am ugly.
I already told you not to be so hard on yourself. Not having sexuality, not having desire, is super normal. My best friend is like that too.
The issue is that I have them… And that they are so deformed and no matter what I do with them… I feel bad.
So it seems more like religious guilt… I have it too, but I keep defying it; I don’t want to be controlled by it again.
Yeah… partly… but it also just… feels like nothing… I kinda… I’m not there when it happens… like my mind turns off… it’s not dissociation but it’s just like a not-me state… and I also just… I’ve had a very bad development so I’m really abused down there and idk… it’s all just so messed up.
Ugh, why would anybody even keep talking to me after me disclosing that.
I understand you, girl… Really… You deserved a hug now
Thank you… I just… want to fix it… this has been traumatizing me for years… and I just don’t know how to fix it… sometimes I feel like maybe I don’t even want to… cause I don’t want to give myself a chance… don’t want to mourn… don’t want to get better because it’s easier to think I’m just bad.