when i was 13, i would fantasize about blasting komm susser tod from my phone speakers and jumping in front of a subway and then hearing the “tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling doooowwn…” repeat from further and further away as i lay there as a bloody pulp on the subway tracks and everyone’s screaming and staring in horror
You never know. Better to start HRT than rep. Or conpare old photos
Honeslty I think kms is the best option
If you kill yourself you’ll make others more miserable than you’d ever do by transitioning. You’ll also cause pain in the world. A net negative. And I don’t think a god would take it kindly. Would he prefer you to transition and be happy with yourself, or to give up completely? You can only kill yourself once you actually transition and it doesn’t work out, then you’ll know it was justified.
I think my family would rather that I’ve died young than me becoming this. They’ve told me many times. My mother told me many times that she wished I had died. That I’d never have been born.
I’m a mistake. Mistakes are corrected
Everything just hurts. And it doesn’t end.
How long have you been repping for?
First AGP thoughts at 15y old. Realized I am bisexual at 17y old. Reperative therapy since then. Repress. Accept I am bisexual at 18y old. Gender questioning at 18y old. Crossdress once sexually. Shame. Repress. Outed by parents at 18y old. Fleeing home to a queer shelter. Breakdown and realizing I’m trans at 19y old. ROGD develops. Now about a year of conscious repping and daily obessional thoughts about gender.
Yeah very similar to me. But if it has been a year without change, then do you really expect it to change on its own? That’s foolish. If you really want to cure yourself you must leave this place right now, cut off all of trans media and live a cis life. If you don’t, that undeniably means you’re a troon stupid enough to rep and live in misery. Don’t validate your self directed transphobia by using religion.
I can’t leave because I’m weak and a bad person and because I am empty inside and narcisstically jump from identity to identity over the years. First smart boy, wannabe scientist, then wannabe artists, wannabe musicia, then religious pious boy, wannabe scholar, then wannabe conservative intellectual, then bisexual leftist, now wamnabe tranny. Because the reality is that I have no identity, no soul.
I’m not leaving because I’m a bad person. That’s all. It doesn’t prove anything at all
Why the hell are you just like me? Other than the religion stuff I’ve been kind of going through the same identities, but they didn’t leave, they assimilated.
You’re not leaving because you’re a troon. What makes you a bad person? You’re just trying to deny yourself I’m tired of your whining. Take your pills Alice or rep for a bit untill your mind corrodes so much you John 50.