Oh my god dysphoria is back, how could i ever think i was a larping moid??? I hate the way my face developed into this… perfectly male form. I hate how my hair fell out. I hate how my face became this ugly. I hate it. Hate it. It was fine when i was a teenager i actually looked pretty and nice and not this moided masculine deformed form. What the fuck am i? Fuck fuck i think I’m having a panic attack my chest feels tight. Fuck how can i ever live with myself? It’s irreversable!!! I wanna cry so much but i can’t it just doesn’t start. I think I’m scared, what the fuck do i do now?

  • BasedandtrollpilledOP
    3·
    13 days ago

    No, I’m not, I’m hoarding pills currently. I feel like hrt won’t even be helpful 😭 i will be stuck in my ugly maid form forever

      • BasedandtrollpilledOP
        2·
        13 days ago

        What if it doesn’t work what will i do then? I wanna have kids too it’ll make me infertile i’m in such a bad spot time is running out testosterone is raping me further. I can’t even get injections in my country i have to go abroad and smuggle them in i have to wreck my body to have any hope to feel in peace now i hate it i hate it

    • DysphoriaGirl
      2·
      13 days ago

      Starr with HRT, if you wanna freeze sperm do it but don’t use it as an excuse to try to run away from being trans.

      • BasedandtrollpilledOP
        2·
        13 days ago

        It’ll make me infertile if i start it rn though, unless i take hCG and FSH with it and i don’t know how to find those

        • DysphoriaGirl
          2·
          13 days ago

          Can’t really simply take hCG and FSH… system is not linear… very sensitive…

          Freeze Sperm then start HRT… also you can try microdosing now and can stop two weeks before the appointment… a low dose won’t make you immediately infertile. Btw, why freeze Sperm?

          • BasedandtrollpilledOP
            2·
            13 days ago

            I wanna have biological children, very foid of me, i soulpass thx. Btw, my shitty country doesn’t allow sperm freezing

            • DysphoriaGirl
              2·
              13 days ago

              Where you at… maybe you can to another and do it there… how much money you’ve got… you probably need to pay out of pocket… you can make it… I believe in you

              • BasedandtrollpilledOP
                2·
                13 days ago

                Thank you so much… I’ll have to somehow get into a school to go abroad probably, if i can’t do that stuff with a tourist visa… And i have a school I’m studying in already 😭😭

                • DysphoriaGirl
                  2·
                  13 days ago

                  You could save up money and then literally take the plan or train and go somewhere, already having booked an appointment, show up, pay, do the freezing and leave… hope you’ve got money for all that… God, I really hope you do

                  • BasedandtrollpilledOP
                    2·
                    12 days ago

                    Thank you, I’ll need to save up and/or need to find an opportunity and uh, reason for going abroad though but i think i can do it in a few months?? I’m not sure :( i probably can though.