Here’s a picture of somebody who kinda looks like me. Below you will find calcifications/corrections with regards to my actual facial appearance:
-
My skin tone is more fair (Fritzpatrick 3-4)
-
My hair is more wavy and frizzy (worse)
-
My face and nose is less in width
-
My midface is a little longer
-
My jaw is stronger by A Lot!
-
My ears are bigger than his
-
My nose is a little less hooked
-
My nostrils aren’t as flared
-
My lips are smaller than his
-
My teeth are not all straight
-
I have visible beard shadow
-
I am definelty older than him
-
I am skinner (fet distribution)
-
I don’t give of chuddy vibes
Now here are my body measurements:
-
Height 173cm (bad posture)
-
Weight 58kg (low body fat%)
-
Shoe size 42 (european men’s)
-
Bideltoid width 44cm
-
Shoulder circumference 96cm
-
Ribcage circumference (sternum level) 78cm
-
Waist circumference (umbilical level) 74cm
-
Waist circumference (above umbilical) 71cm
-
Full hip circumference (widest point) 83cm
< Rotated ribcage (uneven, not level, see image) >
Please give me advise on what I should do now. What are my chances of passing? Is it over for me?
By thinking about it constantly, just like you are doing right now. That’s a crucial part of it. You don’t just forget it, it’s with you, always. The being numb part is a coping mechanism to deal with it somehow, the screaming and crying will come later with acceptance. And it WILL come. The question is only how long you allowed testosterone to rape your body until it happens because you thought “but mayyybe there’s a way out of this”. There isn’t. You can thank me later.
But if I accept it I’ll suffer and be hurt… My family will hurt, people will hurt me. I am not strong enough for all of this
Boymoding is a possibility. I’m doing it too and it is still a LOT better than repping.
But I can’t hide it from my family, especially not breast development. And if they find out then I’m literally going to die. I am afraid of that so much!
Gain some weight and blame the breast development on that. You can lose weight later, you can’t lose bone later. Oestrogen isn’t magic girl juice, the changes are usually subtle. Cissoids are dense and don’t notice the change, especially if they see you every day because it’s very gradual. Cissoids also simply don’t think about tranners constantly. You do. Because you are trans. Which is why you should take your pills.
Yes, in the long term you should get away from your family, but at the moment preventing further masculinisation is your top priority. If you are hoping for anybody here to tell you your case isn’t clear and you’re faketrans I have bad news for you. Nobody will because it is an obvious case. Do it.
This, also worst case you can just wear like a binder or something I guess.
Doesn’t a binder idk damage tissue and wouldn’t it also hinder good development. I don’t want to make my boobs develop badly.
Yeah but I’m saying worst case scenario. Also letting t fuck up your ribcage more will be worse than that anyways so
Makes sense… I already feel horrible if I take a deep breath and see how big my ribcage is. And my shoulders. Ugh. It just feels so horrible. But I didn’t used to feel this way… maybe I just developed idk trans bodydismorphia or something and I’m just imagining things and should just accept my male body. Idk. I feel so fake and wrong.
But I do think I am faketrans. I’m so retarded 😭
Thinking you’re faketrans is in fact very trans and an attempt to justify repping.
But thats like just your opinion sis… like totally unfalsifiable… like… idk… I’m tired… so tired 😭
But yk… recognized late, got AGP, am weird, got borderline, am failed man, sex addict, weirdo, bisexual, very masculine, no signs in childhood.
Isn’t that enough proof against me???
Just like me in every way. But I’ll start HRT in 3 weeks either way. I want the pain to stop, and I know that even if I’m mentally ill it won’t stop by itself. It started like 2 years ago gradually and I’m 18 now. So take your HRT now or live with future regret as John 50.
It isn’t, because the dysphoria is the deciding factor. Recognising it lately doesn’t make it go away, Blanchardism isn’t real, I’m weird as well, borderline is more prevalent in women, you’re not a failed man, you just never were one to begin with, HRT fixes sex addiction, we already had weirdo, bisexual doesn’t have to do anything with this, being masculine physically is just bad luck and has nothing to do with your mind and enough people don’t get dysphoria before puberty.
But they already know I’m queer and my mom already suspects I am trans because stupid as I am I talked about how I hate my body and voice and now I am even more afraid. I already had to run away ones when they outed me as bisexual. This time it can only end up being so much worse
That is a rough situation, but fear of outing yourself doesn’t make you any less trans. In the other posts you’re questioning if you’re trans, well, you are and threatening or beating you doesn’t change that, contrary to what cissoids believe. The first step here is to accept yourself for what you are and then look for feasible ways to navigate this. Repping isn’t one of them.
But the fear doesn’t go away and it paralyzes me… I just feel so paralyzed
I know…I’m so sorry.
I will try, I promise but I don’t know if I can. I just feel so utterly trapped
You can do it. And that’s what I’m trying to explain here, you WILL do it sooner or later anyway because anything else isn’t an option. The question is just when.