Today my arab mother talked with me about trans people and you can imagine how that went. Im afraid my family already knows or will out me soon and it puts me at danger tbh and also the mental pain of Transitioning in secret while also having almost weekly visits with my family will simply be impossible but I also can’t get away from my family. And it just kills me.
I want to do HRT but if I do my family will just drive me into suicide through guilt and emotional and religilus pressure. If I transition my family will emotionally abuse me with their transphobia or maybe even force me to detransition. I can’t survive this. You say please start, but during this conversation today where I lied about trans people being something I have nothing to do with, all I wanted was to kill myself.
And that’s beside all the practical difficulties of transition. It is simply all so… impossible.
I’m so sorry, your situation sounds horrible… I wish there was some way to help but it sounds like you’ve thought about the logistics of transitioning with your familial situation extensively. I wish you the best 🫂
Had to flee from them for being bisexual. Now I am at a queer shelter, can stay here for some undefined length of time. Got my “own” place but family essentially emotionally forces me to always spend time with them and I oblige because I also love them and need them but it also can be extremely mentally exhausting and also there is the constant fear that they might hurt me or lock me up again if I start being more visibly queer, have a boyfriend, wear alt or fem stuff and especially if there are physical changes from transition. Like they freak out at me wearing bracelets and refusing to cut my hair.
What am I supposed to do. And my mom keeps talking about God, who I do believe in, but it makes me feel so guilty and just throws me back into the mindset I was in during reperative therapy 2 and 1/2 years ago and makes me so suicidal…
Today my arab mother talked with me about trans people and you can imagine how that went. Im afraid my family already knows or will out me soon and it puts me at danger tbh and also the mental pain of Transitioning in secret while also having almost weekly visits with my family will simply be impossible but I also can’t get away from my family. And it just kills me.
I want to do HRT but if I do my family will just drive me into suicide through guilt and emotional and religilus pressure. If I transition my family will emotionally abuse me with their transphobia or maybe even force me to detransition. I can’t survive this. You say please start, but during this conversation today where I lied about trans people being something I have nothing to do with, all I wanted was to kill myself.
And that’s beside all the practical difficulties of transition. It is simply all so… impossible.
Sorry… but I won’t make it.
I’m so sorry, your situation sounds horrible… I wish there was some way to help but it sounds like you’ve thought about the logistics of transitioning with your familial situation extensively. I wish you the best 🫂
Had to flee from them for being bisexual. Now I am at a queer shelter, can stay here for some undefined length of time. Got my “own” place but family essentially emotionally forces me to always spend time with them and I oblige because I also love them and need them but it also can be extremely mentally exhausting and also there is the constant fear that they might hurt me or lock me up again if I start being more visibly queer, have a boyfriend, wear alt or fem stuff and especially if there are physical changes from transition. Like they freak out at me wearing bracelets and refusing to cut my hair.
What am I supposed to do. And my mom keeps talking about God, who I do believe in, but it makes me feel so guilty and just throws me back into the mindset I was in during reperative therapy 2 and 1/2 years ago and makes me so suicidal…
Idk… thank you for your kind words.