I need my brain to pick a fucking lane, either let me die or let me want to live, instead I get the worst of both worlds, a brain ready and trying to die but a nervous system fighting tooth and nail to live, this shit is fucking torturous. I feel like a larping, suibaiting piece of shit doing this for the third time in the span of like a month, oh my fucking God, I hate myself so much, it’s so fucking pathetic. I’m so sorry everyone for constantly doing this, I need a month long temp ban or something.
It’s understandable to struggle with this. I’ve struggled with it for a very long time. I know that even if your engagements have struggled with the conclusions, it isn’t a larp to express your feelings on this.
It can get easier. I’ve found a lot of success with asserting control over the terrain of my mind. You can turn thoughts into silly songs, you can visualize them as words on a book that you forcibly close and put away. It doesn’t have to be something you’re purely subjected to. Just because there’s things happening that you didn’t want to happen and cause you harm. It’s possible to assert yourself in your thoughts, though it can be a challenge. I think it’s good to try.
I don’t know how effective those kinds of coping strategies would be for someone like me but thank you for trying to help.
That’s very fair, minds can be so varied. I hope that you can find some way to address it, you deserve peace and happiness, and I hope whatever you do can help you on that.