I don’t know how to fix my subconscious and I do think I’ve hurt her more than she would say or realize right now :/ an apology doesn’t do much when I have proven something awful about my view of her. I’m the only person who can know whether I view her the right way or if there’s something wrong with my perception. I think there’s something wrong, even if I’ll deny it. I cannot be certain and if I try I’ll fail because I have OCD. There is truly never a time that I am not at odds with my mind

  • juliagainOP
    2·
    3 days ago

    Thank you, I need to do this I think… the most selfish thing for me to do would be to just spiral down into a pit for something that I DID WRONG… I just have to take accountability for what happened and take the most difficult option which is continuing through things while knowing I still need to prove this… it’s hard because I will never be able to prove it to myself… and so I can only prove it to her, but I don’t know if it’s okay for me to trust her believing me… I worry she will stay with me even when she shouldn’t… I just have a lot of responsibility but I will try to take it

    • Allie
      2·
      3 days ago

      It is clear that you care very deeply, and this can make it so hard to fall short of the expectations that you have for yourself. But people make mistakes. What’s important is that you continue to wield this care and continue aiming to be the best that you can for her. It’s a powerful thing to have, and it will carry you both far.