This sharp pain that I’m feeling, radiating from my heart to my arms, the anguish, the unease, the desire to escape it. I feel it on a daily basis. Yet it never gets easier to process. I understand that it’ll never end. How do I accept it? How do I accept it as a part of my existance? Each episode puts me one step closer towards my death. It’s just the matter of time before that happens. A time will come when my suffering will be so unbearable that I’ll chose the easy way out. I can’t depend on my transition entirely. It could always fail. What then?
You gotta give yourself permission to make mediocre work! You kinda have to make that stuff, like the mediocre creations are what stand between you and the good ones, and the only way to get there is to make them. You should do it!