It feels like the past three weeks have somehow flown by, and I can’t really remember anything that’s happend or that I’ve done. I got super confused when I realized that the month is almost over already, it’s like my consciousness somehow skipped a few weeks.

I keep imagining a life for myself that will never come to pass, and I keep dissociating so heavily whenever I see my body or my face that it has somehow ceased to register as “me”. If I think about it logically, I’m aware that I will never be a cis woman or even pass at all, but somehow my brain has switched to delusion mode or something because I just daydream about it all day and it almost feels like it’s gonna be true one day despite everything.

I feel like a crashout is coming. This can’t end well. I might end up in the psych ward soon, idk.

  • nebyOP
    1·
    2 months ago

    Oh, I actually do go outside and do things, but somehow it feels like I’m just going through the motions. I just got home from the gym, but it already feels distant and fuzzy, as if it happened days ago.

    • rank1bedrotter
      1·
      2 months ago

      Yeah that’s how I was when I still had to go in for lectures and whatnot

      But now that im on study break… yeah. It got so much worse

      • nebyOP
        2·
        2 months ago

        I think I had a brief window of clarity when I stopped repping, but over time my brain retreated back into its shell and now it feels like my head is filled with cotton candy.