I have one dood friend who I’ve known since before he pooned out and that’s it. My therapist thought it might be good to meet other LGBT people, but I don’t care for it at all, I think 4tranners are the only ones I could get along with. Generally speaking I try to keep trans shit out of my real life as much as possible and instead vent on the internet. How do you handle this? Do you actively look for LGBT acquaintances? I’d be interested in your stories.
"do you deliberately interact with cissoids? "
No.
“do you deliberately interact with gay cissoids?”
No.
I mean, only people I’m willingly interacting and hanging out with are other trans people. I can’t even communicate with most people in general, and every autistic trans woman in this city with 90% chance knows half of other autistic trans women here, so it’s practically my only social circle. It’s not bad by a bit isolating because you practically exist in a bubble and forget what the world and people are like outside (they’re shit but reality checks are still necessary)
Yeah, I actively try to avoid bubbles. On the other hand cissoids rarely let an opportunity to be awful pass them by.
well, yeah I barely interact with new people anyway, since I work from home and don’t visit any events, so not much way to escape the bubble (also being a tranny around cissoids here might get you in jail lol)
my old therapist did the “you should talk to trans people more!!” thing too ive never met a tranny in real life that i actually liked after my therapist said that i had to like lgbt youth group and i got hit on by a 50 year old tranny who was one of the people running it
God, what an awful experience, that’s some predator shit. I’m sorry this happened to you. But yeah, creeps are what puts me off most about the idea.
but actually all my friends are lgbt just not trannies im sure there are good trannies out there though its just that mainstream trans views make you kinda insufferable but yeah you should go and befriend like a cis lesbian or soemthing
How would I even do that? Also, what would connect us in the first place? I could at least trauma bond with tranners, but with cis lesbians? Also, don’t they dislike tranners?
cis lesbians definitely definitely dont dislike trannies they are probably by far the most trans supportive group of cis people as for making friends i fear that im kinda bad at that too unfortunately so i cant really give much advice sorry😓
Maybe it’s the terf propaganda, but invading lesbian spaces wouldn’t sit right with me. Like I’m something less.
its definitely terf propaganda but i know how you feel i still use the mens bathroom most of the time because of feeling ashamed of invading womens spaces but still i think you should give it a try i think it will become easier once you get over the initial hurdle but i also have friends who are gay men my best friend is a gay man so maybe you would feel more comfortable trying that
Or I just try to focus on gigapassing first…then there would be nothing I would fear.
i tried to meet people but i think i give off weird vibes or smth bc i never actually become friends with any of them
For some reasons they are plenty of fags and troons where i work (fags at list, we only 3 trutrans, other are unbearable theyfabs). I swear its better to hang with lgbt than cissoids. Especially moids. Most of them have agressor behaviours (ik bc they talk to me like im a moid).
That’s an interesting perspective.
I think some might seem sneedy when u come from tttt spaces, but its always better than moids staring at customers asses.
Most also go through serious shit, even tho they wont talk about it the same way we do. But still, theyre ostracized and as long as theyre not homonationalists…
I would try to if the lgbt cummy in my uni did literally ANYTHING USEFUL OMG HOW THE FUCK DO I MEET TRANNIES HERE I LOOT AT THEIR INSTA PAGE ALMOST EVERYDAY THERE IS NOTHING USEFUL
What’s useful to you, what would you want them to do?
I want to be able to go there and meet people but they don’t even have a set room or anything all they do is doing those walks and/or talks they do
I can’t attend those because I don’t want to announce to the whole place that I’m a fag y’know? Apparently last year they did a “trans and non-binary meeting” thing I would probably attend that if it happened today but nooooo
I completely understand that, I think it’s really stupid to not give people the opportunity to stay anonymous to the public about this stuff.
Nah, I don’t really fit in well with them for some reason. Prolly too depressed and socially awkward for them lol.
Only ppl I talk to irl are a bunch of straight guys
Yeah, it has taken me a while to find tranners I like hanging out with irl, but finding them is really worth it. It can take a fair bit of time if you’re like me, but showing up places consistently does pay off eventually
How exactly? Also, where do you have to show up?
I met one cool person though frengen, but that eventually blew up. I met one cool person randomly in a university course I was taking where I asked them out for coffee because we had similar interests and stuff. I met a couple of other cool tranners from a tranny peer support group. Often the friendships happened pretty slowly at the beginning where we kinda just were going to the same place regularly and seeing each other there, and then at some point we decided to hang out.
I think that learning to get along with all sorts of different people or learning to tolerate people when they’re doing something that you find slightly annoying is going to help you even outside of the trans context. Of course you shouldn’t tolerate people being creeps, but if someone is just kinda sneedy I think you can live with that. Common sense and communication skills help a lot. For example if you go to a board game event with your university’s tranny club you probably won’t really fw most of the people there, but there is a small chance that there’s someone cool there, and that if you keep seeing each other there you’ll get to know each other. Btw some theyfabs are really cool, so keep an open mind!
Waow, thanks a lot for the really detailed answer!
Just to clarify, I wouldn’t mind becoming friends with somebody I get to know by chance who also happens to be LGBT. It’s just the seeking out deliberately that’s odd to me.
Sorry I’m really scatter brained, I don’t think I try to deliberately hang out with tranners ANYMORE, but I did before because I used to feel really lonely being the only trans person in some friend groups I had. It’s like I had this thing that was really important to me (not morally important, but more like significant), and no one could really relate to the unique challenges I had, so I really wished that I’d had at least one friend that understood that. Hanging out with other trans people and even talking to people here has really helped me with that feeling of not being understood.
Oh yeah, I understand that completely. My cissoid mates talking about mundane stuff while I’m melting down internally over some dysphoric shit without the opportunity to vent is awful, I feel like a pressure cooker about to explode. But apparently venting online is enough to me to cope with it. Still, it feels as if my and my friends’ lived realities are drifting apart, I more and more have the feeling I have nothing to talk about with them.
Well maybe it would really be a good idea to meet and talk with other tranners. If you often feel like a pressure cooker about to explode, idk if talking to people online is really enough to cope
i did actually in highschool while repping, i dont really interact with very many people now but i like to think that i would interact with other queer people if more existed near me
100% of the trannies ik orl are just mutual friends I don’t really interact with any regularly
