Well… normal extent… having a sexually self abused body and compulsive sexuality (Me) maybe be a little beyond the pale of normal… since puberty started… it’s just been one big evil
Well it obv gets more complicated with trauma and stuff, I just think a lot of regular people are overly puritan and weird about it, when most should just treat it like a normal thing idk
Yeah but isn’t that also kinda good… like it feels more wholesome to be puritan… idk… am I crazy… like I don’t like an attitude like…
“hehe I feel so horny… I’ll do everything to get my fix… yes yes… fuckery… give me a body… more… more… I’m hungry… muhhaha devour… eat… no controll… animal drive… hahaha… extreme… fuck everything… I am just this… yes. Sex!!!”
But instead imagine…
“Wanna cuddle… hmm… this is nice… kiss on the forehead… this is warm… hmm… I love you… do you want a little touch… that feels nice… oh… look… we’re together… haha… like Legos… let’s hug some more… that feels warm and nice… I am safe… no bad big movements or eww fucking… just… laying together… hmm… smile”
You know what I mean… ugh, I’m so dumb and immature and childish… and all my desires aren’t puritan but so so bad.
I find puritanism weird tbh, it’s the kind of stuff that produces those gross repressed sex pest republicans that keep getting exposed. Like it’s fine to prefer stuff like cuddles over sex or to not be interested in sex at all, but don’t impose that on others or force yourself to be that way when you do have sexual desires. You’re not on hrt yet right? Then ig i get it more since a male sex drive is probably forced on you against your will, hrt would help a lottttttt with that
Yeah makes sense but like idk sex is scary… my idea of it is also probably so messed by me growing up with porn and developing a sexual compulsive disorder
Well… normal extent… having a sexually self abused body and compulsive sexuality (Me) maybe be a little beyond the pale of normal… since puberty started… it’s just been one big evil
Well it obv gets more complicated with trauma and stuff, I just think a lot of regular people are overly puritan and weird about it, when most should just treat it like a normal thing idk
Yeah but isn’t that also kinda good… like it feels more wholesome to be puritan… idk… am I crazy… like I don’t like an attitude like…
“hehe I feel so horny… I’ll do everything to get my fix… yes yes… fuckery… give me a body… more… more… I’m hungry… muhhaha devour… eat… no controll… animal drive… hahaha… extreme… fuck everything… I am just this… yes. Sex!!!”
But instead imagine…
“Wanna cuddle… hmm… this is nice… kiss on the forehead… this is warm… hmm… I love you… do you want a little touch… that feels nice… oh… look… we’re together… haha… like Legos… let’s hug some more… that feels warm and nice… I am safe… no bad big movements or eww fucking… just… laying together… hmm… smile”
You know what I mean… ugh, I’m so dumb and immature and childish… and all my desires aren’t puritan but so so bad.
I find puritanism weird tbh, it’s the kind of stuff that produces those gross repressed sex pest republicans that keep getting exposed. Like it’s fine to prefer stuff like cuddles over sex or to not be interested in sex at all, but don’t impose that on others or force yourself to be that way when you do have sexual desires. You’re not on hrt yet right? Then ig i get it more since a male sex drive is probably forced on you against your will, hrt would help a lottttttt with that
Yeah makes sense but like idk sex is scary… my idea of it is also probably so messed by me growing up with porn and developing a sexual compulsive disorder
Yeah that makes sense, I hope you can get more comfortable with yourself and overcome that
Yeah… I just idk need advice on how to do that to be quite frank and honest…
I‘m sure there are people capable of that, but sadly that’s not me sorry… i‘d recommend a good therapist for that ig… and you getting on hrt of course
I’ve got a therapist but sadly he doesn’t want to talk with me about gender or sexuality cause it’s not “his area of expertise” and I’m stuck with him