I’m usually a pretty hardcore boymode extremist, but today my gf asked me if I think boymode really is the right thing for me in the long term. My therapist asked me the same not too long ago and wants to push me to girlmode. I don’t know what to do. My body is alright-ish, just too fat, but I loathe my face. My voice is untrained and bad. My gf says my body language is very feminine, but at the same time she says when I speak I’m more brash and blunt than most men. I feel I would be a very poor copy of a woman. Boymode is simple, boymode is safe, why do people question the mode of the boy? What am I supposed to do? I just want a relatively easy life, not to become a hon or optics nuke just because girlmoding is something one has to do, no matter the consequences or chances of success.
girl modes
he him sir bro man
visually a hon
many such cases
I’ve seen you (I thiiiink?), if you girlmoded you would not be an optics nuke hon you don’t have the looks or build to be that at all. Never heard u speak but yah maybe voice train if you sound like that.
I have never posted my face on the internet anywhere, ever.
I’m voice training a bit every other way, but I don’t really know how to progress I wish I could control resonance and vocal weight at will, but apparently that’s bad and people are supposed to get used to a different kind of voice via practice to avoid strain.
Transvoice subreddit and coaches are all about ear training now. Avoiding strain doesn’t mean making a sound and hope it lends, it’s just not straining your muscles and stopping when you start feeling pain while you are doing it. It’s just generally better for beginners, as it avoids bad habits. But I personally do still use some physical feelings anyway, because after ~2.5 years of voice training I sadly still can’t do it just by ear.
I look like the gamestop hon
I am a walking optics nuke
I half-girlmoded pre HRT and I would say I wouldn’t have made it if I spent any time boymoding. Idk if it is the case for you, but even being misgendered and verbally harassed was worth the ability to present in whatever way I wanted.
I always dressed rather androgynously because for example women’s trousers fit me while men’s didn’t. But at the same time I was never interested in skirts or dresses or generally very feminine clothes. Nothing about that has changed, I feel those clothes are not what I am. I have zero craving to wear them. For this reason I feel girlmoding has a high cost for zero gain. Malefailing is nice because it gives me the feeling that maybe I’m not completely chopped. But generally speaking not getting into trouble is far more important to me than passing to others. My main issue is that I don’t pass to myself and girlmoding would not change that.
girlmoding doesnt mean u have to wear a skirt though
That’s the thing though, what’s the point where girlmoding starts? If androgynous clothes for women count I have been girlmoding for a decade.
Girlmoding is not just dresses and skirts, though. It’s just generally presenting in feminine way. Trained voice, earrings, feminine haircuts, nails, makeup, underwear, etc. All these things can make a measurable impact on your view of yourself.
Underwear!? Like, who even sees that, can’t I just keep wearing boxer shorts?
I have no holes for earrings. I polish my nails regularly because they are fragile and break easily, I really try to maintain them well. I don’t know if my haircut is feminine, but I often get compliments that my hair looks good. I never used makeup.
Underwear is more for seeing yourself as a woman in your mind. Women don’t really wear men’s underwear, even if you can’t see it.
I had no holes for earrings too, I went to specialist and made them, now I have earrings. By nails I meant more so manicure with nail polish. Haircut I don’t know, as I have no idea what you have. Makeup you can learn, if you want. I never yet did it extensively, as I’m not sure about my mother’s reaction, but even applying eyeliner made me look and feel much better when I did it one time.
There is also jewelry, if you want, there is a lot of cheap one.
u can keep boymodibg if you want but u should voice train
I’m trying, but it’s awful and I feel I have no way to see if I’m making progress.
