It’s so fucking annoying but I can’t help it. I still can’t understand how I didn’t question anything until 20. I still cant understand how I was porn addicted and basically didn’t have bottom dysphoria until questioning. Every time someone posts some bs about faketrans this faketrans that I start spiraling and the doubting starts all over again. The new legendary cope that I discovered because of Will Powers is that since I don’t have hypospadias I’m faketrans LIKE DO U HEAR HOW STUPID THIS IS ALL IS.

Everything points to faketrans rogd yet I have no intention of getting off estradiol and have experienced no reverse dysphoria.

I mean it’s just so retarded. What man would give himself gyno and be happy with it? What man would willingly give himself ED and low libido??

I think the source of the problem is that I still haven’t truly accepted that I’m a tranny. I just can’t believe it it’s all so surreal.

I’m sorry if these posts are really annoying and dumb I’ll stop posting if I’m just being annoying :(

  • DysphoriaGirl
    2·
    9 days ago

    I don’t know… I don’t really want to adopt cause I don’t really know how I’d raise a child that looks different from me and has nothing from my likeness. So I don’t think I could do that, don’t think I’d like to do adoption. And when it comes to being an auntie, well my family could reject me because they wouldn’t want a tranny around their kids because I’d be a supposedly corrupting influence. And with the sperm itself… idk maybe one day I end up in a lesbain relationship with a cis girl and we’d want a baby. But like idk if I’m gonna end up with a cis man. But like why would anybody even stay with me. A guy would leave cause I can’t give him children. And why would a cis girl want the babies of a tranny. And yes insemination sounds really yucky and weird. But what else am I supposed to do. Just be infertile with no future and unlovable and a biological dead end that will die alone. Idk… what am I supposed to do. I’ll always be yucky. Nobody loves us. A guy will leave me for a real girl and a lesbian cis girl would be disgusted with being pregnant probably. Aren’t queer people anyway just the dead bad people with no children. We are just like… a corruption. Ugh. Idk. I’m just so stupid. And feel so broken. I at least want to say “no, I’m not broken. I could have children if I want. Please don’t hate me” because I don’t want to end up the ugly infertile disgusting tranny. I can’t give birth. I’m not cis. I will never have that role. Never have the value (and yes neither the oppression) that comes with that and I know that it makes me so so so so so so so so so so much less worth than any cis women or human being. Let me at least idk… not be too damaged. I just… ugh… I’m damaged anyway.

    • its_ogreOP
      2·
      9 days ago

      I don’t think there are any good answers, I’m sorry. It just sucks… I definitely get the feeling of being “broken”

      Just please know that you have worth. You are worth more than your ability to reproduce (or lack thereof :/ ) I just hope one day you can find someone that values you for you

      also I feel guilty I’m pretty sure I made you spiral, sorry about that 🫂

      • DysphoriaGirl
        1·
        9 days ago

        I’m okay, don’t worry. It just sucks. You’re right about that. I just think that I somehow have to hold on a little longer until this somehow works out and hopefully I dont have to wait months. The only real benefit I could see in all of this is preparation time… like somehow doing certain things before starting HRT. But then again I would have to actively do that instead of just sitting around which is difficult if I’m depressed haha