out of all of my issues i feel like my hatred of being african american is the most intangible and thus easiest to fix ig
like im referring to deeply rooted internalized racism
tw:racist asf upbringing and internal thoughts
the type where ur father would tell u how “born lazy” and good for nothing black ppl are ever since u could walk, where everyone, including teachers, at ur christian (ultraracist) private school would ostracize u for the fact that ur the only african kid there, where u feel shameful spark of happiness from having fairer skin and whiter features than the rest of ur family, the type where uve done actual skin bleaching, etc
ive tried wokehacking myself into being happy abt it but doesnt work and mask never sticks
I’m really terrible with race issues and experienced nothing similar but I’m really sorry you went through that and I hope you find a way to separate from it eventually somehow, childhood can easily instill fucked up ideas and racism does seem one of the worst and most effective ways to do it
To be clear I’m only inexperienced because the first thing you’d ask a non-white person that’s here is “why the fuck did you end up here of all places”, not because I’m in a white suburb or something. Actually ig it is a white suburb but the suburb just sucks so much ass noone normal would come to it, hm…
im not sure what ur trying to say in the latter half but if ur just asking why i use 4chan spaces its bc ive been fairly desensitized to derogatory slur usage so idgaf to seeing the n word used, it just feels like stating a fact of my existence but in a less socially acceptable way ig
im not sure what ur trying to say in the latter half
sorry sometimes i just write things
but if ur just asking why i use 4chan spaces
No “here” meant my country, sorry yeah no reading it again jesus christ i wrote nonsense again…
my mother moved to cali for uni from abroad, met my dad, had me in this stupid fucking country
Wtf i thought you were a neurotic overly loud japanese anime girl
2/5, i am neurotic and overly loud
3/5
I thought you were a neurotic american white girl
yea ive been told i act in a way thats whitepassing which like makes sense considering my upbringing
i’m not exactly sure; despite only having realized fairly recently, this is something I’ve been dealing with my entire life. it colors I everything I think and do and I hate it so much
