Maybe its because of how traumatic losing my virginity was but I really dont want to have sex again, especially if its with someone that has a penis. It feels wrong to feel this way bc sex Is normal but idk I just really dont want it and I find no appeal in it anymore. Even when I see rhe occasional nsfw post im just like I dont care, when I see a pretty lady I am attracted tho so idk I cant call myself asexual or anything I really dont know…
i really think because i went through both rape and dysphoric sexual breakdowns it would be okay to say that being in a body that makes you avoid sexual relationships is in fact a form of traumatic injury. i found that like you i could never really call myself asexual because i did have “wants”, but due to dysphoria-induced depression AND being with people who could never see past my skin, they would get “buried” under other emotions. i dunno anything really other than the fact it sucks ass hard.
i really appreciate it, i was honestly just trying to say you are going through a lot, and it makes sense to have these emotions… i didnt want to make it abt myself… （´∇｀‘’）