I kinda feel like my options are…
A) Transitioning (and rope one day if I don’t pass)
B) Repressing completely + conversion therapy
C) Repressing + accepting myself as a cis-bisexual
Because I feel completely hopeless and deeply dysphoric and like Transitioning might not be even worth it because of a fuckton of horrific reasons:
- I’m a midshit / lateshit (20y old)
- I’m a mentally ill unlovable borderline schizo
- I’m am incel 4tran brainwormed subhuman
- I was violently hypermasculinly socialized
- Sexuality is utterly fucked and dysfunctional
- I’m middle eastern (racehon, ugly arab ape)
- Family is extremely queerphobic (will hate me)
- My future is fucked (studying useless degree)
- I am a total voicehon, rapehon, orgehon tranny
- My body is hideous and masculine (see below)
Body measurements:
- Height 173cm (absolute heighthon)
- Weight 58kg (look like a skelton)
- Shoe size 42 (european men’s)
- Bideltoid / Shoulder width 44cm
- Shoulder circumference 96cm
- Ribcage circumference 78cm
- Hip width (widest point) 83cm
- Waist circumference 71cm
- My Waist to Hip-Ratio 0.86
And I have so little hope that I could pass or be happy and don’t know if transition is even worth it. And no, none of this is meant in an ironic way. I hate myself and would like to rip my body apart.
I won’t do anything to myself but I have no hope.
Extremely funny to me youre already mourning things you havent lost tbh
I date, have a job, am attractive for my age, get along better with cis people than other trannies and lost my pre transition friends, but transition was very worth it. Skill issue I guess. Stay repping and john 50 ;)
I’m trying to anticipate the future and figure out if the risk of transition is worth it. To be completely honest, I am just terribly dysphroic and feel hopeless and honestly all I really want is some hope and the feeling like I am gonna make it.
But I just feel like I won’t.