I kinda feel like my options are…

A) Transitioning (and rope one day if I don’t pass)

B) Repressing completely + conversion therapy

C) Repressing + accepting myself as a cis-bisexual

Because I feel completely hopeless and deeply dysphoric and like Transitioning might not be even worth it because of a fuckton of horrific reasons:

• I’m a midshit / lateshit (20y old)
• I’m a mentally ill unlovable borderline schizo
• I’m am incel 4tran brainwormed subhuman
• I was violently hypermasculinly socialized
• Sexuality is utterly fucked and dysfunctional
• I’m middle eastern (racehon, ugly arab ape)
• Family is extremely queerphobic (will hate me)
• My future is fucked (studying useless degree)
• I am a total voicehon, rapehon, orgehon tranny
• My body is hideous and masculine (see below)

Body measurements:

• Height 173cm (absolute heighthon)
• Weight 58kg (look like a skelton)
• Shoe size 42 (european men’s)
• Bideltoid / Shoulder width 44cm
• Shoulder circumference 96cm
• Ribcage circumference 78cm
• Hip width (widest point) 83cm
• Waist circumference 71cm
• My Waist to Hip-Ratio 0.86

And I have so little hope that I could pass or be happy and don’t know if transition is even worth it. And no, none of this is meant in an ironic way. I hate myself and would like to rip my body apart.

I won’t do anything to myself but I have no hope.