what a miserable existence

  • bp16OP
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    3 days ago

    girl people have been saying this for like a year atp ik being in denial is useful but like cmon

    • Magpie
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      3 days ago

      yeau… but… well… it’s starting to get really hard to deny 💔 my psychologist doesn’t seem to think i’m even particularly mentally ill, though…

      • bp16OP
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        3 days ago

        it’s not that hard to hide mental illness if you are able to turn up to therapy sessions acting relatively normal and just lie abnout stuff…

        • Magpie
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          3 days ago

          i’m not even trying to hide anything, though 😭 at the appointment, i literally just completely tuned out for most of it because i was just thinking about how i was going to kill myself when i got home… lmaooooo

          • bp16OP
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            3 days ago

            ok but like u gotta talk about your thought processes and stuff omg they can’t read your mind

            • Magpie
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              3 days ago

              i never get the chance to do so, though; they just keep yapping and yapping without asking me any questions, and i usually just kinda nod along whenever i’m depressed… but i’ve lowkey started journaling, and, before the next appointment, i’m planning on writing down the things i should him 🙏 like, i legit kinda gotta make sure i stop the depressive episodes from happening before i actually just end up killing myself…

              • bp16OP
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                3 days ago

                damn my old therapist was the opposite she kjust let me talk forever and i’m an expert at rationalising my emotions so i just said word slop for hours and hours and never felt any better

                • Magpie
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                  3 days ago

                  yeau, i tend to do that a lot, too… i’m legit so fucking bad at being direct about my feelings 😭 like, i’ll never really lie, but i’ll usually just not say anything of substance unless asked directly…

                  • bp16OP
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                    3 days ago

                    yeah there’s a huge difference between analysis and actually processing emotions