I know its sneedy, but I turned very cutesy and well meaning, unless I get uncomfortable or threatened in which case I change and I really hate it. My ex boyfriend treated me extremely childlike and its kinda just automatically how I start to operate when I’m in such a situation now (i.e. when I like a guy).

The me on testosterone and me on estrogen work a lot different and the me on testosterone feels extremely alien and wrong. Its more like I regained my original person from before puberty raped me. Testosterone also makes you angrier and more prone to like pushing and honraging and stuff and goodness what trauma…