- If I transition openly -> Abuse until Detransition
- If I transition secretly -> Abuse just later on
- If I leave my family -> Family suicide
- if I repress -> 50 years of suffering
- if I do conversion therapy -> suicide
- if I kill myself now -> Family suicide
- If I let them die -> suicide by guilt
This kind of situation cannot be solved…
The only option would be for my family to suddenly accept me being trans… which won’t ever happen.
And to all of you who say my family won’t kill themselves… they’ve already de facto did attempt to just waste away and die when I first ran away…
There is no solution… there is no hope…


Because when I once went away… my family collapsed into a depressive spiral, my mother started having night terrors, waking up screaming in the night, searching the streets for me, being in pain, stopped eating, lost 20kg, stopped leaving the bed, ended up suicidal… same thing for my father who ended up in the hospital from a heart attack due to stress and his deteriorating health due to the depression.
So yeah… if I leave, they will die…
Damn. You should find a way to make them accept without making them feel that they’re losing a son, or a child… That’s such a shitty situation, I’m so sorry.
I’m afraid I don’t know how to do that especially cause for them it’s a religious matter and therefore unchangable… especially for my father…