i was heavily dissociated out of my body up until the point i vowed to stop repping and my brain also chose to selectively ignore the existence of sexual dimorphism. couldn’t really tell you when specific milestones happened other than a vague idea based off the little recorded evidence i have (voice recordings, photos, etc.)

i knew that puberty was A Thing and that it supposedly was going to happen to me but i didn’t know anything about it other than that i was terrified of it. i kept waiting for it to happen and then eventually just assumed that it must have already happened. now that my eyes are open to all of this, all i can really do is look back on the damage and cry.