This sharp pain that I’m feeling, radiating from my heart to my arms, the anguish, the unease, the desire to escape it. I feel it on a daily basis. Yet it never gets easier to process. I understand that it’ll never end. How do I accept it? How do I accept it as a part of my existance? Each episode puts me one step closer towards my death. It’s just the matter of time before that happens. A time will come when my suffering will be so unbearable that I’ll chose the easy way out. I can’t depend on my transition entirely. It could always fail. What then?