I hate being a queer faggot son.

I should just end it. I should gonna drive out into the middle in the bum fuck nowhere, throw a tarp over myself and the cars exhaust and leave the car running until I suffocate and die from being asphyxiated so I don’t waste anymore air on this god given world. I will rot like road kill in the hot sun like I deserve to and when someone finds my rotting putrid smelling carcass on the side of the road and see an undeniable male body. I’ll be buried under my dead name and my parents and friends will be sad for a little bit until they completely forget about me in a few days and my body will continue to rot 6 feet under, slowly leaking and dissolving into the darkest pits of hell where I will be met with eternal hellfire that I deserve for being an ungrateful XY chromosome faggot. I should be ashamed of myself for allowing myself to exist for this long.

This vehement self hate has been going on for more than a decade and I am surprised I am still alive when I shouldn’t be for the sake of myself and others. It will never get better, the humiliation that is life will only get worse and u should end it to finally end the suffering that is being alive.