I love when I post my most significant achievement for the approval of people who I value higher than myself only for it to be ignored, this is literally one of my biggest insecurities, like my parents don’t care about me or any of my achievements, and I could never get attention from them… my friends don’t care… sure I’m proud… but if nobody cares am I even allowed to be proud… literally doesn’t matter, I’ll die in an unmarked grave, and be forgotten as soon as the last shovel of dirt is placed over me…

If I even get a grave, God I hope I don’t, it’ll deadnamed me anyhow, just cremate me and scatter me in some park… I would appreciate that rather than be deadnamed on my tomb…

I’m sorry y’all… I’m genuinely sorry y’all… for… I wish I could tell you, but it’s not like it matters, my opinions don’t matter, I don’t matter… and that’s ok… this is all ok

:3

One day I won’t even be here, and that’d be a day like any other… and that’s ok

    • RabbitHoleGirlyOP
      2·
      3 days ago

      Ok so I posted one here 2 days ago, I put a lot of effort and it got decent traction and made me happy, I wish it led to more conversation… but it’s not absolutely futile…

      Then I decide, actually I’m really proud of this, let me post it on TroonSelfies, for other trans people to see that transition can be good and how I’ve changed… and just in general how proud of how far I’ve come…

      Get spammed out with 3 posts in 5 minutes of me posting so that I get buried even when sorting by new

      Get only 200 views and 5 upvotes, and the only comment is about a logical mistake I may or may not have made… nothing about my transition… nothing about the 5 years of my life I spend grinding away at my presentation… just nothing… and I swear it feels like people immediately start posting to bury me on that sub, because this is not the first time I get buried in new for some reason, every time I post there’s 2-3 posts minutes after

      But yeah… I just want my timeline to be acknowledged, I changed and grew a lot and this has been a culmination of all my life’s efforts

      This is the tranistan one https://tranistan.com/post/tranistan.com/61867

      This is the reddit directors cut with slightly adjusted captions https://www.reddit.com/r/troonselfies/comments/1tsz5l1/im_a_tiny_bit_bored_so_i_thought_itd_be_fun_to/

      • blacktarheroine
        1·
        3 days ago

        They don’t do that, it’s just the fickle whims of the dumb reddit algorithm. I wouldn’t feel too bad about it, really. I tried the same thing, and nobody noticed so I just deleted it. People are weird, y’know? You’re very beautiful, and this post response doesn’t reflect all the effort you put in. You did a great job.

        • RabbitHoleGirlyOP
          2·
          3 days ago

          Thank you, yeah I think I am beautiful and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself… thanks I have at least someone else in trans spaces who is neither hugboxxing nor being overly mean, I do appreciate it ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧