It doesn’t help anybody…
I am for example depressed, have trauma and lead an unhappy life with no purpose and that is filled with feelings of deep inadequacy.
And I ask myself… could it be that I want to be trans just because the idea of being a woman due to trauma has become something that feels safer to me (even if I’m man) than the idea of being with a woman and my wish to transition is just so I can fulfill some deep seated need… essentially instead of feeling adequate and confident enough to express my attraction to a woman and love a woman in a relationship, I instead try to love myself as a woman because I’m scared of failing or being inadequate as a heterosexual man
That plus my father’s abuse due to his extreme hypermasculine expectations and my sexual trauma from pornography have made me afraid and alienated from the idea of being a man and from heterosexuality.
And then I developed dysphoria after the fact… I literally said “okay I want to be a woman because I think then I can fulfill this deep seated need, but trans women need to have dysphoria so now I should start to feel dysphoria” and then and only then after starting to imitate what people said they were dysphoric about, did I start feeling it which to me seems like I induced dysphoria artificially.
Why… why isn’t that a viable explanation!


Should I try to maybe hook up with a girl and try to have heterosexual sex to see if that will fix me or do you think this could cause me like… more trauma…
Idk… I just hate the fact that my brain can’t answer these questions. Yes, the idea of still being dysphoric in 10 years sounds very painful but the idea of also having transitioned when in reality at the core maybe I’m just a very traumatized boy also sounds not very happy and good for me…
In the end I want to find a way to be happy and transition seems like it might take away many ways for me to be happy like having a family, finding a partner, getting a safe job, not experiencing violence etc…
Idk… it’s so complicated and painful
idk. I’m just trying to offer input based on my experiences.
Thank you… can you give some more of your thoughts… they are really helpful
My thoughts are that you should get on Estrogen. That’s really it.