Yeah that’s difficult, and maybe part of it is that my fear around that is so acute around men due to the potential for violence, the difference with women makes it feel more normal than it actually is. But I do think I’ve been able to develop a confidence that I don’t look or act weird when out and about, like all the signals I get are telling me that this doesn’t become clear to people until we have an extended conversation. If people are regularly interacting with you in a way that suggests that they think they saw a normal woman, I think it’s safe to believe that’s the popular perception.
yea i guess i mostly get treated normally but i live in a woke area so its hard to say what they’re actually thinking when they interact with me. maybe my worms are just really bad but its been hard for me to trust that they don’t see me like how i see myself
I think with a woke area you still get some signals like the “coward’s they” and stuff like that, though yeah it sucks that it can’t be more clear. I’m in the same boat and it’s been tough not to be like “every single person is just being nice to me”, but people are not nice enough for that to be true after a certain point. Especially if you’re getting any of the typical treatment of women that is not so nice.
I don’t think you should be taking too much from the absence of mistreatment! That’s just another potential signal.
Also, if you’ve heard from other trans people in your city about their treatment within it, do their stories suggest that there’s nothing but nice people around? Because that’s something that gave me a lot of perspective, hearing about how unkind the treatment can actually get. I feel like I was talking about this with someone recently, so I’m sorry if that was you and this is redundant! But it can help with this.
i don’t know too many trans ppl in my city but the 1 that i’ve talked to said she gets misgendered and harassed occasionally. she lives in a diff neighborhood though and she said it was at night after like going to a club or party and stuff which i don’t really do
Ok so while that may not be a situation you put yourself in, I think it’s noteworthy that with just one other known trans women, you already are hearing about misgendering that you don’t experience. That’s good! I think it would be worth learning more about what life is like for the other trans people around you. This can give you more of a frame of reference and it can help make you less uncertain about where you stand.
tbh i think it’s only cause she doesn’t voice train i think she would mog me otherwise. i wish i could be closer with more trans ppl but im awkward around them too and haven’t been able to make friends
I can’t say I’ve had the best luck in the local trans friend department either, it can really turn into a minefield. But you can still find stuff out before the mines go off!
Yeah that’s difficult, and maybe part of it is that my fear around that is so acute around men due to the potential for violence, the difference with women makes it feel more normal than it actually is. But I do think I’ve been able to develop a confidence that I don’t look or act weird when out and about, like all the signals I get are telling me that this doesn’t become clear to people until we have an extended conversation. If people are regularly interacting with you in a way that suggests that they think they saw a normal woman, I think it’s safe to believe that’s the popular perception.
yea i guess i mostly get treated normally but i live in a woke area so its hard to say what they’re actually thinking when they interact with me. maybe my worms are just really bad but its been hard for me to trust that they don’t see me like how i see myself
I think with a woke area you still get some signals like the “coward’s they” and stuff like that, though yeah it sucks that it can’t be more clear. I’m in the same boat and it’s been tough not to be like “every single person is just being nice to me”, but people are not nice enough for that to be true after a certain point. Especially if you’re getting any of the typical treatment of women that is not so nice.
i feel like because it’s woke it’s hard to interpret and there’s a lot of people that use they for everyone. maybe that’s cope on my part though
i don’t get harassed or hit on so maybe they are just being nice :/
I don’t think you should be taking too much from the absence of mistreatment! That’s just another potential signal.
Also, if you’ve heard from other trans people in your city about their treatment within it, do their stories suggest that there’s nothing but nice people around? Because that’s something that gave me a lot of perspective, hearing about how unkind the treatment can actually get. I feel like I was talking about this with someone recently, so I’m sorry if that was you and this is redundant! But it can help with this.
i don’t know too many trans ppl in my city but the 1 that i’ve talked to said she gets misgendered and harassed occasionally. she lives in a diff neighborhood though and she said it was at night after like going to a club or party and stuff which i don’t really do
Ok so while that may not be a situation you put yourself in, I think it’s noteworthy that with just one other known trans women, you already are hearing about misgendering that you don’t experience. That’s good! I think it would be worth learning more about what life is like for the other trans people around you. This can give you more of a frame of reference and it can help make you less uncertain about where you stand.
tbh i think it’s only cause she doesn’t voice train i think she would mog me otherwise. i wish i could be closer with more trans ppl but im awkward around them too and haven’t been able to make friends
I can’t say I’ve had the best luck in the local trans friend department either, it can really turn into a minefield. But you can still find stuff out before the mines go off!